251. The Holder of the Gregarious
Go to a club, preferably one that was abandoned recently, and look for a man. If you don’t see him, return another day. If you see him, tell him you are looking for The Holder of the Gregarious. If he gives you a sadistic grin, run. A terrible fate awaits you if you don’t. However, if he gives you a genuinely friendly smile and holds open the door for you, you’re safe…for now. Go inside. He will close and lock the door behind you, leaving you alone. Do not try to leave and do not try to break down the door, for your life will be in grave danger if you do.
Now that you are inside, you must walk to the center of the room and either sit or stand, it doesn’t matter which. Do not make a sound and do not say anything. It could happen right away, or it could happen after a long wait, but either way, people will begin to appear and the club will appear to come back to life. They will be loud and they will be close to you. Do not cover your ears and do not try to move them away, for if you do, you will be violently attacked by every last one of them. Keep standing there and keep silent. If they begin to talk about you in an unflattering, perhaps even cruel, manner, do not listen in. Should the club fall silent, say to the nearest person, in these exact words, “I do not wish to be the center of attention.” Should you have said the right words, the sound should resume.
If you did everything correctly and keep standing quietly, a burly, dark-skinned man will eventually approach you and tell you to come with him. Do not resist and do exactly what he says. He will take you into a dark room where someone who is sitting behind a desk. Their face will be in shadow. Ask them, in these exact words, “Why do They want to be together?” That person will move their face out of the shadows as they lean forward, revealing them to be an older version of yourself as the opposite sex, and they will tell you, in graphic detail, how They were born and how They will die. Do not look away from your male or female double and do not try to cover your ears or you will lose the ability to speak. Once your double has told their tale, you will feel faint and collapse. Do not try to protect yourself.
When you awaken, you will be in the abandoned, empty and locked club. The next time you are in contact with other humans, you will have an unusual understanding of how they truly are.
That understanding is Object 251 of 538. Do not try to understand Their motives.
252. The Holder of Diligence
In any forest, in any country, make your way to the thickest, darkest part of the woods. One there, you will find yourself facing a large white stone, embedded in the earth. In order to proceed, you must offer a sacrifice of blood. Once you have drawn the blood, you must run it across the face of the stone, from top-right to top-left. After your sacrifice of blood, nothing with seemingly happen. At this point, you must sit down upon the earth, cross legged, and wait. After twenty-five minutes, you will hear shuffling from somewhere behind you; you mustn’t avert your gaze from the stone before your eyes.
After another five minutes, the earth will begin to shudder. As the shaking grows more violent, you must rise to your feet and bear witness to the stone as it slides away from you, revealing a large square hole in the ground. When the quakes end, you may proceed into the dark hole. As you descend into the bowels of the earth, you will notice the air become cooler, damper.
Eventually, after several long minutes of descent, you will come to a passage in the earth, covered by a thin blue sheet. This is your last chance to flee. If you choose to move forward, you must say the following before continuing: ‘I wish to prove my worth. Please accept my word that I proceed, seeking only truth.’
When you enter the passage, you will find yourself just a few paces away from a large, dark, round cavern. Entering, you will be greeted by the reflective eyes of a vaguely humanoid creature, crouching in the center of the room, his hands folded atop something on the floor. Once again, you must wait, this time for sixty minutes before moving or speaking, lest the creature lung and attack you. After the five minutes are up, the creature will bow its head and you must ask: ”How long has it been?”
The creature will look at you again and begin whispering its past, the means of its coming into possession of the Object, its time waiting for a Seeker. Its story will pierce you to the soul, making you feel as if you have aged along with the crouching creature, ancient feelings overwhelming you. If you submit to the strong desire to remain still, you will become a living statue, unable to move, unable to speak. If you take a step forward, the spell will be broken and the creature will reveal the Object to you, muttering something incomprehensible, before fading into darkness. You may move forward now and take the Object, a small grey stone, cold to the touch.
The stone is Object 252 of 538.
253. The Holder of Fiction
The following transcript was discovered at a library sale in Moab, Utah, tucked inside a copy of the children’s book,
“Come Back, Blue Rabbit!” by Peony Strubmaier. No trace of the five remaining messages could be found. Appearances suggest the document was last used as a makeshift bookmark. Passages crossed out with black ink have been omitted.
***
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FROM THE OFFICE OF (omitted)
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STANDING OFFICER (omitted)
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TRANSCRIPT REQUESTED FROM: (omitted)
RESTORED BY: C. VARLEY
INTERCEPTED AUDIOTELEGRAPH MESSAGE 5 OF 6
DATE: AUGUST 15TH 1893
TIME: 03:23 CET
LOCATION: COPENHAGEN
SUBJECT: (omitted)
RECIPIENT: P. GRAYLING
Now, listen up… I’m only going to say this once.
They say the world’s getting smaller, and maybe they’re right, but there’s some things so big and scary that they won’t get any smaller at all. These ugly secrets about the world, you know what I’m talking about, don’t deny it. Those festering, bloated secrets none of us know how to bury… Well, I’ve got another one for you.
They say that in any city or town, in any country in the whole blessed world, all you need to do is walk into the second library or bookseller you find. That’s the second, mind you, not the first. I’ve heard tell that with the others… you know… the others, you ask someone at the counter for a holder of something or other, but that’s the wrong thing to do in this case. Doing that will only get you chewed up and spat out into soggy little pieces. No, what you want to do is stroll right on by and get yourself to any fiction section. Then you pick up any book that suits your fancy. Yes, you heard right, any book. Sounds funny, doesn’t it? But it gets funnier from there.
If you’re not careful, they say, about which book you pick, then you’re in for a heap of hurt, because books can be kind, but they can also be cruel. People forget that. They can twist a man and his motives into something awful monstrous. Course, if this happens, it was probably meant to be. Some folks are monsters at heart.
Well, once you get your book, you just buy it or check it out like any ordinary book, but you be sure to watch that librarian’s face. See, if they look relieved or happy about what you hand them, then you’ve done it wrong. Just put the damn thing back and walk away, and don’t try it again until the day after, because if you do, you’ll regret it. Trust me on this. There’s no part of me that wants to see you haunted by an eternal force of regret.
Now, listen. If you’re feeling up to it, you can just set down in the aisleway, right then and there, and read that book start to finish. Wouldn’t say I recommend it, though, because you might not get the chance to finish it. And it’s very important that you finish it. You hear me? Finish the book. If you don’t, you’ll be sorry. They’ll cripple your mind with questions, and not one blessed soul here will be able to answer them for you.
Once you’re done, just sit back and soak in the story. Give it a moment. If you’ve done it right, you’ll feel paranoid and entirely usure about your place in the world. Maybe you’ll see little shadows flit and scatter in the corner of your eye. Maybe you’ll have horrific nightmares that you can’t shake yourself out of. Maybe those nightmares will chase you around in the daylight. If this happens, it just means you’re getting somewhere.
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Now you’re ready.
Look for a way to get a hold of that author. Send them something they’ll like. A tribute, something real nice and pretty. Introduce yourself, and this time, now’s the time you ask for the holder. Call them “The Holder of Fiction.” Don’t make sense, but that’s because we’re human. Things like this were never really meant for fools like us anyway.
If all goes well and the stars are lining up just right, and you’ve done everything I tell you to do then they should be real friendly and say, “I have been waiting for you.” If they don’t say that, or they act confused or hostile, then you’re in trouble, and you ought to stop and wait. Just wait for a while. Then start the whole thing over again, and I mean the whole thing. If you don’t, and you keep talking to this person, or you apologize or something, they’re not going to be a person anymore, understand? They’ll turn into something you don’t want anything to do with, and they’ll do things to you that you don’t want them doing to you. I’ll leave it at that.
This Holder of Fiction is going to ask you for a word. Be sure to give it to them. It’ll be the eleventh word on the eleventh page of that same book you just got done reading. Why? It’s the numbers, you know. They’re important in ways we’ll never comprehend. Just remember, eleven on eleven. Eleven eleven.
You’ll probably be amazed to find that this Holder is friendlier and more sociable than many others you could tangle with, but you’ll still need to be on guard, because this is not the tricky part.You can ask this creature anything you want, for as long as you want, you know, they’ll be in a good mood, and they’ll chat for a long, long time. By no means does this mean they’re human. Or that they’re on your side. Or that they aren’t itching to devour you where you stand. They’re just friendly, is all.
Now, pay attention. The last thing you ask must be only one, very delicate, and very specific question:
“How did they become real?”
This Holder’s tone and demeanor will change like the wind, and you’ll find yourself listening to hushed tones about the terrible secrets of reality, proofs of the eldritch nature of our world. Your head’s going to spin, your stomach will flip-flop and you might feel the urge to vomit, scream endlessly, or even lash out and kill the sucker, god forbid, but you’ve got to hold fast to the words spoken, because you’ll be asked to make an important choice.
It’s the choice that makes this one so dangerous. The choice is different for everyone who comes down the line looking for their treasure, but they’re all important. Damn important.
Now, you be careful and don’t lose your head. After a short while or a long while, this Holder of Fiction character is going to send an object to you. A simple prize to reward your infinite curiosity. Something you can hold. Something you can take with you. Something you will never be rid of. Now, it might or might not have strange powers, but that’s irrelevant.
This thing is Object 253 of 538. One man’s fiction is another man’s truth.
254. Holder of Strength
(It is highly advisable that you take at least one of the other Objects, preferably any that are weapons or forms of protection, with you before embarking on this quest.)
In any city, in any country, go to any institution designed to help people become more proficient with any kind of weapon or fighting style. Once inside, say to any person working there, “I wish to spar with the Holder of Strength.”
The worker should gasp and take you to down a flight of stairs that weren’t there before. At the bottom there will be a large stone door covered in the Language. The worker will unlock the door for you and walk away, laughing hysterically. Now is your last chance to leave. If you are truly determined, this is your last chance to prepare. You are about to enter the most grueling battle you have ever fought.
Once you are through the door, it will shut and lock itself behind you. You will now be trapped in a large room with a giant, fleshless demon armed with a double-edged sword, wearing armor adorned with the remains of fallen Seekers. He will let out a deafening howl and charge toward you. If you manage to dodge this attack, you should notice a spear, made out of what appears to be a solid chunk of otherworldly crystal, stuck in the Holder’s back.
Any damage you do to the Holder will heal immediately, and if you are defeated he will skin you alive and devour you whole; your skin will be naught but another trophy for his hellish suit of armor. The only way to kill this terrifying monster of a Holder is to remove the spear from his back. This will not be an easy task, as the Holder is a master of combat, and even if you can grab the spear it will require an enormous amount of force (for a human, anyway) to pull it free.
If you can, by some miracle, successfully remove the spear from his back, the Holder will instantly shatter and the door you entered this room through will open. It will now lead you to the place you call home.
As long as you are in possession of that spear you will be extremely skilled with all types of weapons, as well as with all martial arts. Don’t try using it against any of the Holders, however, for they are far more prepared than you will ever be, and they don’t like their intelligence being insulted.
The crystal spear is Object 254 of 538.
255. The Holder Of Perversion
In any city, in any country, go to the nearest police precinct and tell the head clerk that you would like to post bail for the one who calls himself “the Man of Many Tastes.” A look of weary resignation will cross the clerks face and he will ask you for six dollars and nine cents. Pay the man and he will take you deeper into the building.
As you pass the holding cells, you will begin to notice the prisoners grow more and more monstrous. Eyes will turn blood red, arms will ripple with unnatural muscles, and horrible shrieks will erupt from their throats. Do not stray from the center of the hallway, for to get too close to one of the cells is to invite certain death.
At the end of the hallway you there will be but a single door. Heavily armored, and with no identifying number, a red light will eminate from the cracks around it. At this point the clerk will unlock it for you, but make no move to open it, that is a task for you and you alone.
If you manage to muscle the door open, proceed within. A short man with wispy hair will huddle in one corner, surrounded on all sides by pictures of the most awful pornography known to man. Many will claw out their eyes here, to avoid having to see such unspeakable horrors. Many more will fall to the ground in shock, their souls being absorbed by the pictures to become one with the horrible acts. If you are strong however, or just twisted enough to be able to find pleasure in at least one of the images then you may approach the man.
He will gaze up at you with watery eyes. Ask him this: “What would pleasure be without pain?”
If he begins to laugh at this then prepare for an eternity of suffering and perversion, as you become part of his grand collection. If instead he draws a knife, and slices open the palm of his hand then you are safe. He will walk to a nearby table, and pick up a yin and yang pendant.
“Without opposites, nothing is definite,” he will say to you as he hands you the pendant. At this he will turn from you and speak no more, proceed out the door and back to the main office.
This pendant is Object 255 of 538. Taboo is in the eye of the beholder.
256. Holder of Hunger
In any city, in any country, go to any beach or waterpark with a wavepool you can find. When you are ankle deep in the water, proclaim that you wish to see the Holder of Hunger.
Soon, the people around you will begin to vanish. You will become drowsy and want to nod off. I suggest you do, but lay down first, or you’re likely to crack your skull on the fall.
It doesn’t matter if you go to sleep or not. It’s your choice, and it’ll take you to the same place. However, if you’re awake, you’ll see how you get there, what’s taking you, and countless other horrors that no man should see. Many go mad on the way down. Be warned, though, if your sanity leaves you, your ride will never end.
If, however, you choose to succumb to sleep, you should wake up far below the surface of a large body of water. You’ll be tied to a large wooden post for an undetermined amount of time. You will have to wait until nine others join you. You could be first, you could be last. You could be waiting five minutes, or maybe five thousand years. No matter how long you wait, you’ll feel everything- the lack of air in your lungs, starvation, fatigue, unknowable fear – but not death.
When ten people are finally joined in the murky depth at one time, the Holder will emerge. A hulking behemoth, rotten scales hanging loosely from its tainted form, row upon row of jagged teeth lining all three of its slavering mouths. Its eyes will be darker than the blackest of nights. Take care you don’t make contact with them, lest you be trapped forever in their depths.
It will turn to each person individually for exactly five seconds before devouring them. This is the worst fate imaginable. It will swallow you whole, slide you down its intestines into one of its stomachs where you will be digested for all of eternity. The only way to avoid being devoured is to ask the question, “What do they hunger for?” After eating the other nine, he will explain to you, in horrible detail exactly what it is They hunger for, and even worse, that it’s you who must feed them. He will then eat you.
Have no fear, for the beast only has nine stomachs. You will simply slide past them and through his seemingly endless body. When you come through what should be his anus, you will be back where you started.
The slime you are covered in is Object 256 of 538.
257. Holder of Endurance
You will be tortured here for what will seem like an eternity. The pain will be incomprehensible, second to nothing. Even the souls condemned to Hell will weep for you. While this goes on, you must not let out any sign of pain, or else it will never end. If you can endure, then eventually the man will stop, unravel the chain that binds you, hand it to you, and render you unconscious with a blow to the head.
When you awake you will be outside the mental institution or halfway house with the chain wrapped around your hand.
That chain is Object 257 of 538. When the two ends are touched to an object the two objects cannot be pulled apart, unless you remove them.
258. The Holder of Gemini
In any city, in any country, go to any maternity ward you can get yourself to. Once there, search for any set of twins you can find. If there are none, then pity yourself, dear Seeker, for you have not been deemed worthy of this Object. The babies in this room will reveal themselves for the demons they truly are, and they will take great delight in inflicting the direst of tortures upon your very soul for the eons to come.
If you can find a set of twins, however, ask them to see someone who calls himself “The Holder of Gemini.” The bassinet holding the twins will separate, revealing a staircase stretching down as far as the eye can see. If you’ve any doubt in your mind, flee now and never return to any maternity ward (hopefully, you realize what this means by extension). If you are determined to obtain this Object, however, descend the staircase. The bassinet will reform itself behind you; there’s no going back now.
Eventually, the staircase will split into two. Both look identical, and indeed, they both lead to the same destination, but they are in fact very different paths. One staircase seems to continue on forever, yet have no imminent dangers. You will descend these stairs for weeks, perhaps even months, before you arrive at the bottom; it is highly likely that you’ll lose your sanity before you make it that far. The other staircase will be shorter, but treacherous with nightmarish creatures. They will taunt and torment you, breathe in your face and snarl in your ears, but they can not harm you unless you stop. Don’t hesitate, don’t flinch, or you’ll sorely regret it.
Regardless of which staircase you choose (for you’ll not know which one you’re on until it’s too late to turn back), you’ll eventually come to stand in front of a large stone door. Knock twice (and only twice, unless you perchance enjoy being rent in two), then enter. You’ll find yourself in a simple stone chamber with a set of teenage identical twins standing on either side. Only one of these is the true Holder; the other is an impostor. Turn to one of them and ask, “Is there a backup plan?” May Hell have mercy on you should you ask the wrong twin.
Ask the right one, however, and you will suddenly see the entire universe reflected on every surface in the room. The Holder will then compare all of existence to the magnitude of the disaster that awaits should They be reunited; at this point, you will finally realize how insignificant the universe is in comparison to the power of the Objects. Many lose all hope here; in this case, the Holder will lay his hands on you, transforming you into one of the enslaved creatures inhabiting the shorter staircase.
If, against all odds, your resolve as a Seeker remains intact, look the Holder dead in his two eyes and shout, as loud as you possibly can, “Begone, both you and your foul illusions!” The Holder and the reflections around you should all shatter; all that should now be left in this chamber are yourself and a small, frame-less, rectangular mirror, hardly larger than the palm of your hand. Take it, and you’ll find yourself in the bathroom of the place you call home.
With this mirror, think of anything you can (up to and including The Holder of Gemini) and a perfect doppelganger of that person will appear before you (it will not work, however, on any inanimate object, or on any Holder you have not met, for if you truly knew who the Holder you thought of was, you’d have his, her or its Object by now, anyway). This exact replica will be identical to the person you have thought of, down to the last minute detail. However, as soon as the doppelganger leaves your sight, the real person or thing will die a most gruesome death, unless that person or thing is a Holder (which goes without saying). Be careful who or what you summon.
That mirror is Object 258 of 538.
259. The Holder of Imprisonment
In any city, in any country, go to any police station or prison you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit a prisoner who calls himself “The Holder of Imprisonment.” The person behind the desk will tell you that he has no idea of what you speak. Continue asking until a warden or police chief confronts you, telling you to hold your tongue of such nonsense.
Become very adamant and rude until they threaten to throw you in jail. At this point you will need to do something that will get you imprisoned. At first, try pushing the warden or calling the police chief’s wife a whore. They will attempt to restrain you; fight back. If they throw you in any typical jail cell, you’ll be doomed to rot there until the prison rats have had their fill. Instead, get yourself beaten, fight as hard as you can so that they try to knock you out. If you succeed in this, others will hold you down while the warden repeatedly crushes your face with his bare fists.
You will lose teeth; whatever you do, don’t swallow them. You will need them later, so keep them in your mouth. This will spare you from a second fit of pain. When the warden’s hands are red and swollen and can no longer clench a fist, they will drag your bloody, beaten body away, but do not black out! You will need to be vigilant as they carry you deeper into the prison, Further than what seems possible.
It will grow darker, and the cells will look older and older until the bars of the cell doors are rusted. Soon, the cell doors will become heavy wooden doors. The floor will become dirt and candles will light the way. When you’ve noticed the candles have become torches, taunt the guards by saying, “But who watches the watchmen!” The guards will pause and they will throw you into nearest cell; if Lady Luck is with you, you will have a cell mate.
His name will be “Dargo, the Civil.” He will be a thin old man, wearing nothing but a loin cloth and shackles on his feet. He will have a long stick with which he retrieves his daily rations when they slide it under the door. You must ask him, “Will God bring me justice?” but he will laugh at you so hard he begins to cry. You must snap his stick in half; with his means of maintaining sustenance snapped with it, you must now eat his food, even as he begs you for just a single bite. Each day, a tray of food for one will be slid under the door; eat it all yourself, not sharing so much as a single crumb. Each and every day, ask him, at least once, “Will God bring me justice?” even if his sobs are uncontrollable.
It may take days, perhaps even years, but you must keep your loose teeth in your mouth, never taking them out. One day, he might just answer your question by pointing toward a wall. Using your bare hands, you must dig a tunnel to freedom. Though you’ll not have seen the sun in ages, you’ll instinctively know that if he points you north, you’ll burrow into an underground reservoir and drown in your tunnel. If he points you south, you’ll dig under a weakened wall that will collapse the tunnel and kill you. If you tunnel East, you’ll end up the the next cell with a starving man, and men this hungry will eat anything. If you never fed Dargo, watched him waste away, and broke the spirit of the poor old man, he will faithfully point you West.
Tunneling under the wall and into the next room, you will find the guards. Armed with swords and dressed in chain mail, they will be playing a game of dice with your fellow escapees, executing those who lose. You will be prompted to the playing table without being told the rules, and the guard across from you will roll his dice. You must beat his roll, but the guards won’t share their dice. Prisoners roll with their teeth. If you have not saved yours from a previous life, you must produce freshly loosed ones or be put to the sword without a chance to spare your life.
You must play your teeth across the table as the prisoners surrounding you look on. You won’t know whether you’ve won or not until you feel either a blade in your back or the keys to your freedom in your hands. At this moment you will know that the outcome is weighed against your morals. If you’ve led a just life and righted your wrongs, the teeth will fall in your favor.
If you win, the guard will reluctantly hands over an iron key. Take it, with the intent to free Dargo. If your hopes and excitement are too much to overcome with the onset of freedom, you’ll escape as quickly as you can with out the item you’ve endured this trial for. When you open the door to his cell, you won’t find Dargo, only a pile of old bones with a chain cuff around a bone ankle. You should suddenly realize that the old man was dead long before you were imprisoned. You needed every mouthful of food for strength, to endure, and then to tunnel and escape. Justice wasn’t found here, but the mercy was. The round bullet in the hollow skull is what you’ve come for.
The bullet is Object 259 of 538.
260. The Holder of Revenge
So, you, brave mortal, believe you have the lust for revenge great enough to seek me. Ha, I hope you do, or never think of me again. To find me, seek the closest mental institution or halfway house you can find. Enter, enraged, the lust for revenge coursing through your veins. In an intimidating manner, approach the receptionist, and grab her by the throat. Demand counsel with me, and do not release your death-grip until the receptionist’s cheeks begin to turn purple. Do not stop when you hear her spine begin to crack. Release her when the lights begin to flicker. She will then fall to the ground, and spectacularly rise again, laughing Satanically. She will tell you “There is no escape now, mortal!”, and darkness will enshroud you.
When the lights come on, you will be standing on a platform which seems to be floating in midair. The sky around you will be stained blood red, accompanied by the most fearsome looking thunderstorm clouds you will have ever seen. A fierce gale will be blowing, carrying the cries and screams of those who failed my challenge before you. Fully armored, you will be wielding your weapon of choice, be it a sword, a bow, or an ax. My most fearsome warrior will descend from the Storms of Unending Madness. Though you may try to kill him, you will find it impossible to administer a finishing blow. Fight until you have no energy left, mortal, and I might spare you. My warrior will throw you to the ground, and in an incredible feat of strength, will raise you in the air by choke-hold. As the life drains out of you, weak mortal, begin to think of your worst enemy, your worst encounter, and the time since you have been lusting for your revenge.
What happens next depends if I deem you worthy to continue. I will look into you and if your desire for revenge is great enough, you will find yourself on the clouds in the Storms of Unending Madness. I will approach you, and you must kneel, weak mortal. I will channel my energies into your weak, pathetic life force. Let your anger and lust for Revenge course through you, and this energy will transform itself into Power you have never felt before. You will then find yourself in the choke-hold of your enemy. With your new Power, you will be unstoppable, I assure you. When you bring my warrior to his knees, his helmet will crumble. He will be your worst enemy. With the Power flowing through your veins, it will be hard to resist destroying him, but you must refrain. If you are successful, a couple seconds later I will take place of my warrior. Do not attempt to destroy me, or I will show you pain as you have never experienced it. Ask me “To what lengths will They go to satisfy Their Hunger?”. Be warned, the answer is one so unpleasant even I do not rest easy thinking of it. When I am done, the thunderclouds will erupt and everything will go dark. You will wake up in the intensive care unit of the nearest hospital. Break out, and when you escape, you will find a giant red scar cut diagonally into your body.
This scar is Object 260 of 538.
261. The Holder of the Worm
In any city, in any country, go to any hospital waiting room and ask to see the Holder of the Worm. You will be met with a look of disgust, and informed that the elevators are currently not operating. This will be the case even in a small, single-floor building. Politely ask your question a second time, and you will be directed through a pair of exit doors to a dimly-lit stairwell. Take the stairs down, and only down, lest you find yourself in a loop that will never end.
You will descend an impossible number of flights, into pitch darkness as a foul smell fills the air. After many hours, your feet will land on something soft, slick and damp. A dim, orange light shines in the distance, and the stench is overpowering, a mix of blood and feces. Tread carefully, should you slip and fall you will become a permanent part of what you are walking on. As you approach the glow, you will begin to make out your surroundings: a vast cave formed of solid, raw, red meat. Rancid juices stream down the walls, and the floor is caked with human excrement. The only source of light is an old and battered mining lantern, propped against the entrance to a small, ragged side chamber.
Enter this “room” and you will find a nude, emaciated young woman, her face buried in meat as she hungrily excavates her tunnel. This starving soul is the Holder of the Worm, and will acknowledge only a single question: “How can They be satiated?”
The Holder will turn to you, gore streaming down from her face, and answer your question in lengthy and sickening detail. All the while she will weep, shake with hunger and repeatedly attempt to return to her meal, but show her no pity. Firmly repeat your question, as often as it takes, and she will continue on. If you allow her one bite, she will never speak again, you will never find the way you came in and spend the rest of eternity living as she does.
Distract her long enough to complete her speech, and the Holder will seem oddly composed, as though her hunger has been satisfied. She will thank you for coming to see her, and offer an embrace. Stand firm and open your mouth. Do not move, speak or react in any other manner, even as she presses her bloody lips to yours. You will feel something long, fat and slippery slither down your throat for several minutes straight. When its entire length has left her body, the Holder will suddenly collapse into a heap of bones. Her lantern will flicker, and you will find yourself in no more than the hospital broom closet. Try not to draw too much attention to yourself.
The creature that now squirms in your intestines is Object 261 of 538. However much you eat, you will never feel quite full again.
262. Holder of Eden
In any country, anywhere but any city, go to any abandoned railroad crossing you can find. Once you reach these tracks on the road, begin walking on the tracks that go to your left. After approximately two miles an old man on a push cart will slowly make his way up behind you. You will hear him coming, but do not turn until he stops behind you. Once he has stopped, turn and look at nothing but his shoes. He will ask if you want a ride. Accepting is the correct response, otherwise “they” will get you on your walk back to the road.
After he offers you a ride you may look around freely. You should see an old native American man wearing a white button down shirt, black suspenders, worn black slacks, and polished black shoes. If his hair is in a braided ponytail you will be free to continue your quest. If it is not, however, you would be advised to “make like a tree, and leaf.”
At this point you should get up on his cart and stand oppositte him, in front of the push lever. He will ask if you will help him push the cart. Do so and your hands will stay connected with the cart for the rest of eternity and you will take his place as the guide to the holder. Instead, stand patiently for five seconds and then cross your arms over your chest. Ask, “Can I be taken to where we started?”
The man will begin to push the cart in the driection you were walking. The cart will begin to move faster and faster until everything around you is just a tunnel of blurred color. While this is going on the man will begin humming old hymns. You will be tempted to sing along, even if you don’t know them, but you must resist or you will be hurled from the cart. After what seems like an eternity, the cart will come to an abrupt stop in the middle of a vast field.
As soon as the cart stops, you must take your eyes off of the man. Turn to your right and leap as far into the field as you can. As soon as you land the cart will burst into flames and disappear, leaving you alone in the field. This is a crucial part of your journey. From where you landed, take exactly eight steps away from where the cart was. Then proceed in a diagonal-left direction. After ten steps it will become hard for you to walk, but you must push on. After twenty steps it will feel as if you are about to fall apart, push on. After thirty steps, no matter your will power, you will fall to your knees. In front of you will appear an ancient gate, accompanied by neverending walls on either side.
The gate will open and you will be free to stand and go in, but before you enter a robed clergyman will come through the gates towards you. He will ask for you to repent, seeing as the area beyond the gate is a pure and holy place. If you wish to continue on, do what he says. You must confess your sins. He will then help you into the garden beyond the gate and disappear.
In the center of the garden you will find a beautiful man and woman lying next to each other on a pedestal, both unclothed. No matter the weather or time of day outside it will be night in the garden and the only light will seem to eminate from their bodies. It is safe to approach them, but do not touch. Stand next to the man and look into the sky. There you will see a small light flickering in the sky, it will descend until it sits in front of your face. From this dust-like speck of light you will hear a voice that is so powerful that you feel as if your bones themselves might break at the sound. It will tell you that to continue, you must take from the man what was used to make the woman.
Produce the Scalpel of Eternity and do what needs to be done. Do not fret; the bodies have been there for a long time, there will be no mess.
When you are done, turn back to the small light and offer thanks, if it acknowledges your appreciation then you will be transported back to the railroad crossing, safe with the Object. If it does not, prepare to be trapped in the garden forever, a conscious statue in the place where you now stand.
The man’s rib is Object 262 of 538.
263. The Holder of Sanguine
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway you can get yourself into. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit the one who calls them self “The Holder of Sanguine”. The worker will throw their head back and laugh as if they just heard a really good joke. Wait patiently; do not show any emotion, they will then lead you down a corridor that replaces where the windows should have been.
The wall of the corridor will be splatter with blood and have warnings of death carved next to the trails of dragged finger nails. You will hear a child happily singing, but the lyrics speak of grotesque murders and horrible bloodshed. If at any point the singing should cease, stop, and quickly yell “I mean you no harm”. If all remains silent close your eyes and prepare to be tortured for eternity by the demons that are born from spilt blood. If the singing picks up again continue until the worker stops and unlocks the door, he will then run away leaving you alone.
Open the door and then quietly shut it behind you. You will enter a realm where the sky is the color of blood and floating pieces of rock are what make the ground. You will be greeted by a small girl in a white dress, she will appear to me grinning happily but tears will be flowing from her eyes. Her dress is splattered with blood but focus on her eyes for she is not a little girl at all. Her eyes are the color of blood and her smile reveals her sharp fangs, and if you break eye contact she will sink her teeth into your neck and if you’re lucky you’ll die and not become her eternal slave.
She will then tilt her head to the side and ask you with an innocent smile “Will you feed them with your blood or your soul?” Say nothing except “I wish to know if they can bleed?” She will smile if you ask the right question and then she tells you all the gruesome things people have done with them, for them, and without them. Close your eyes and you will see every murder and rape she speaks of and upon inspection you will notice she is watching every one of them from somewhere in the shadow. Open your eyes once the visions have stopped and the floating rocks will all now be connected by stairs and pathways. The girl will already be walking down the path, follow her until she leads you the highest rock in the sky. There will be a fountain in the middle that contains instead of water, blood.
She will then ask you to reach your hand into the fountain, do so and you will eventually find a dagger decorated in blood rubies. She will then ask you to end her life by cutting out her heart. Do so quickly or you will end up replacing her. Once you have cut out her heart the ground beneath you will begin to crumble and you will begin to fall into to what appears to be a void. You must then stab yourself in the heart and close your eyes. Endure the pain and when the pain disappears open your eyes again and the dagger will be gone and the heart will still be there, pulsating on its own. Once it stops beating rip it open with your bare hands and pull out a small envelope that is sealed with red wax.
This small envelope is Object 263 of 538. Should it be opened, the moon will be dyed red.
264. The Holder of Repentance
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution of halfway house you can get yourself to. Ignoring the front desk, go immediately to whoever is looking out of the window. If there is no one there, then curse your misfortune, and await the feel of the void. If a man is there, greet them, and tell them you will return later; your quest is not meant for today. If a young woman in a floral print dress is there, however, touch her shoulder and ask to speak about ‘The Holder of Repentance’. A look of immense melancholy will cross her face, and she will touch the window. It will open outwards like a door, and lead into an ascending stairway that should not be there. Begin climbing the stairs before her, but be sure she enters the stairway before closing the door; otherwise, you will climb until someone else gathers the Objects.
No matter what you feel, you must continue up the steps. Whispers of regret and doubt will find their way into your mind, no matter how strong your will as a Seeker is. Although the woman is the cause of such troubling thoughts, do not turn, or you will forever be lost to your fears. If your will does not break, the stairs will eventually end, and you will find yourself outside of a door. Without stopping, fling the door open, and walk into the room.
The room will be filled with vases of differing sizes and shapes, all on tables along the walls of the room. The young woman will already be in the room, no matter how far she was behind you on the steps. If she is facing you, then flee, as fast as you can, down the steps; even an eternity on them is better than an eternity trapped in her watering eyes. If her back is towards you, however, approach her silently. When you are directly behind her, steel your resolve, and ask the one question in your mind: ‘What cannot be forgiven?’ She will tell you, in a quivering voice, all the massacres, the abominations, of history. As she speaks, the vases will all shake and rattle, as though the end had come. The moment she finishes, one vase among the vast collection will break. If you find it, you will have found the Object you have sought. The broken vase carries with it all the sins of mankind; it is up to you if you have the endurance to bear them.
The broken vase is number 264 of 538.
265. The Holder of Suffering
In any city, in any country, pick up any phone and dial 911. Once the operator picks up and asks you what your emergency is, tell them you wish to speak to “The Holder of Suffering.” As soon as you say that, the operator will hang up on you.
In 3 hours you will feel a tap on your shoulder. At that time you must take any item and bury it deep within your eye. If you have done this in time, then you will find yourself unharmed in a dark room facing a grotesque pile of mutilated corpses. You will be unable to imagine what things could have possibly been done to these bodies to disfigure them so horribly. The bodies will soon start writhing and screaming in an otherworldly language that will most likely overwhelm you with sadness.
Your task is to dig through these corpses. As soon as you get close to them they will tear into you with their gnarled remnants of claws and teeth, but you must ignore this and dig deeper into the center of the pile.
At some point while doing this you will receive a deep cut on your left arm. At that time the hideous bodies around you will disappear and you will wake up in a hospital bed. No one will enter your room, and you are free to leave at any time.
The cut on your arm will never stop bleeding, and as time goes on it will become more and more infected, and more and more painful. It will eventually consume you with so much pain you will not be able to move, and you will die a horrible death.
That cut is Object 265 of 538.
266. The Holder of Rapture
In any city, in any country, go to any condemned church you can get yourself to. Bring with you the Object of Eden and walk into the church. After taking a few steps in, you will be greeted by an old clergyman wearing an out-of-date monk’s robe and hood. He will ask if you have come to meet the Father and repent for your sins. Tell him only this, “I am here of my own God-given will to seek the Holder of Rapture.” From under his hood you should hear a grunt of discontent. “Ah, a Seeker?” he will ask, but do not answer with words, only a nod, otherwise the next time you blink you will find yourself in the frozen wastes of the Antarctic. After you nod, he will slip a hand under your arm and take you to the alter. There is certainly no use in trying to resist him, as it is impossible to stop yourself from going.
Once at the alter, you must kneel. The clergyman will leave. When he leaves you, wait a few cautious moments. Once a moment has passed, rise and turn to you left. No matter what “religion’s” church you are in you will witness a statue of the Virgin Mary backed by an ornate stained glass window move as if pointing to something. Carefully proceed towards the statue, noting that you only step on the floor tiles with cracks or broken edges, the whole tiles are traps.
Once reaching the statue look in the direction it is pointing. If there is a door there, you must quickly leave the church, nothing but death lies beyond the threshold of that door. Otherwise you will see before you an icon depicting the infant Jesus sitting in Mary’s lap holding a mitre. If you look closely you will see that the cross on the top of the mitre can be moved, and behind it is a hole. At this point you should insert the rib into the hole. A soft click will sound through the sanctuary as the rib hits the back of the hole. After the click you are free to return the rib to your pocket or where ever you keep it.
Once returning the rib to its place, an opaque, glass door will reveal itself in the wall. Open the door and walk down the six-hundred and sixty seven stairs that you will find before you. While walking down the stairs you must count them. While walking you will hear whispers tingling in the back of your mind telling you other numbers, if you lose count you will find yourself back at the top. Only to repeat the process until you overcome it or go mad. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs you will find a large, wide open, and empty room. The room will be very poorly lit with so still a feeling that it’s as if you could cut the air with a knife. At this point you will need to produce object number 243. Close your eyes and open the little blue box, count from one to a number that you feel is correct, close the box, and the open your eyes. The room will now be well lit and the marble floors and ceiling will be shining.
You will notice that the only decoration in the room is the painting from the Sistine Chapel adorning the walls in a full circle around the room, with the fingers touching above a plain looking door on the otherside of the room. Do not linger for long, but make your way across the room to the door and unlock it with object 243’s key. Hurry, you only have as long as you counted to leave, otherwise you will become trapped in this room forever to gaze longingly at the painting.
As soon as you are through the door, turn, close your eyes, count to your number again, open the box, and open your eyes. You will find the room with the painting as it was when you first found it, dark and eerie. Close the door and turn to face where you are now. You should find yourself standing in the massive graveyards outside of Jerusalem. From where you stand you will see the Mount of Olives, yet that will only occupy some of your attention because you will most likely be preoccupied with the ghosts walking around the cemetary. There could be any number of ghosts at one time is questionable, but they will be there.
After standing for a moment one of the ghosts will aproach you. It will ask you, “Why you have come through time to this place?” Answer with, “I have come to seek the Holder of Rapture.” The ghost will turn away from you and speak again, “You must go to Golgotha and take with you what the Jewish take to graves, but make it a special one and it must be from this graveyard.” I hope you are knowledgeable, because you will not be told what it is you need to take, by the ghost or by myself. Once you have found it you must proceed to Golgotha, the site where Jesus was crucified.
Upon reaching Golgotha you will see the ghost of a centurion soldier standing in front of three crosses, the one immediately behind him adorned with a sign. This sign should let you know that you are neither in the past nor the present, this is a time all to itself. The centurion ghost will approach you, mystical looking tears pouring down his face. “When I saw the way in which Jesus died and the events that followed his death, I was touched with fear.” he will tell you. “We cast lots for his tunic,” he will say as he lifts a seamless and beautiful tunic in his left hand. “And we stabbed him with this spear,” he will mumble as he lifts up a spear in his right hand.
“It is my burden to bear these reliquaries until a worthy seeker comes to relieve me of them.” You must at this point produce the thing from the graveyard and place it upon the ground in front of the cross. The wind will them begin to blow in a way never experienced by humans. Once the wind stops you will find yourself outside of the condemned church, the spear stuck into the ground with the tunic hung on it.
The Spear of Destiny and Christ’s Tunic are Object number 266 of 538.
Whether or not you believe does not matter when pitted against fate. They will cause the Rapture.
267. Holder of the First Shard
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself into. Once you reach the front desk tell the person working there that you wish to see “The Holder of the First Shard.” Everything and everyone around you will immediately begin to age in a rapid fashion. The staff, the people, the appearance of the building. Notice nearby as a door begins to build itself. When this “transition” has ended, you have an option: Leave now and you will forget it all, or enter the door and stare death in the eyes.
If you decide to exit the building, memories of only a normal life will seep into your mind and life for you shall begin anew, with no memories of your life as a Seeker. Many Seekers at their wit’s end have done this to themselves on purpose, hoping to put out the fire that burns in them to find the Objects. Your other option, of course, is to enter the door.
When you go through the doo,r it will close behind you and slowly fade. You will now be in a long, ancient hallway. This hallway is filled with pictures of the ones you hold dearest at the time of their death. Do not allow this to sadden you; if it does, you will spend eternity in this hallway mourning for them. Proceed quickly through it, and listen closely for the ticking of a clock. If it so happens to stop, shout out, “I reject time’s manipulation!”. If it is still stopped, there is nothing you can do but wait for your demise.
If the ticking does continue, quickly approach the elegant door you will find at its end. Open it and step through. You will now be in a large room, one that’s dimensions are hard to grasp. In its center is a woman whose age is so ancient that your mind will be hard-pressed to create a number for it. Her gray hair reaches across the floor and she is dressed in a silver cloak. Kneel in front of her and patiently wait for her response. Say nothing, lest you wish her to show you the true secret of her age – it’s not as glorious as you might hope. Eventually, after a great period of time, she will ask you, “Why seek the end of time?” Respond with confidence, “I only hope to keep Them separated”, regardless of your intention. The hag shall sigh, and begin showing you the terrible effects that aging had in different parts of history; cities falling apart, information lost, and the invention of destructive tools, as well as the adverse effects they had.
Your mind probably will not be too affected by what you see, but prepare yourself for what she will now show you: Those lost to age. All of them, all of their deaths will be shown to you in horrific detail. Never look away, unless you perhaps wish to feel the blade-like quality her fingernails have.
You will be in tears by the end of this display. Once it is over, ask her, “Can time be defeated?” to which she shall respond, “Only if They will it.”
Immediately close your eyes. You will open them to find yourself in your home. If you lack one, you will awake at the last place you slept. Find the nearest clock and you will find a simple shard of glass either on or inside the clock. The partial design of an hourglass remains upon it. Look in a mirror and you may find yourself shocked to see that you either regained your youth or aged many years – what decides that depends on why you sought the Object.
That Shard, the First Shard, is Object 267 of 538.
268. The Holder of Forever
Wherever you may be while reading this, approach the nearest hand mirror and declare to your reflection your intention of meeting someone known as “The Holder of Forever.” Your reflection should not change in the slightest, but at this point you must begin to search the mirror’s surface for the slightest imperfection, never breaking eye contact but using only your peripheral vision. If you find even the slightest flaw (for most Seekers, it is usually a small crack or chip), pronounce to your reflection, “I am the one who they spoke of,” and quickly hold your eye directly in front of the imperfection. Should it disappear after this, it is your decision how long to take making peace with your deity of choice before you break eye contact with your reflection and meet your demise.
Through the imperfection you will see the midsection of a man very close; it will then retreat out of sight. Once this has happened, you may take your eye away from the imperfection; as soon as you break eye contact with the mirror, you will find yourself in an empty void. Nothing physical exists here, yet you will feel naught but sheer horror as you watch it destroy itself before your eyes. You will sit, transfixed, as emptiness ceases to exist. While this infinite cycle proceeds, your mirror will be your only company.
Should you glance at the mirror, you will see that your face has become that of a human far too old to be alive. At this point, you will suddenly realize that you have been here for eons; you will also know that many, many more must pass until you can be liberated from nothingness’s self-destruction. You will find, to your surprise, that all this time you have been inflicting a small scratch onto the surface of your mirror to signify each year that has passed in this disintegrating blankness; you will automatically continue to do so for the rest of the time you are here.
You will wonder why you have not required any nourishment here, even as you absentmindedly chew on some nameless material created only to prevent your death. As the centuries pass, you will become aware that there is no exit from this empty hell; as the centuries become millennia, you will stop caring. You will forget all about your quest for the Objects; it is at this point that you will notice an impurity in the barren void. As you focus on it, it wil become clearer and larger, eventually obscuring your whole view.
Once time itself has ceased to exist and the impurity has integrated itself into your very being, you must ask this question to the nameless nothing that is your existence: “How long will They continue to be sought after?” At this point, the impurity will grow to such immense proportions that you will not be able to gaze upon it any longer. As soon as you take your eye away from it, you will discover you were only peering into your mirror for about ten minutes. This revelation tears many a man’s sanity asunder.
If you can keep your mind intact, however, you will realize that the imperfection your eye was pressed up against has changed to an incomprehensible shape made out of the countless billions of tiny scratches you made in the void to pass the time. This shape is His Mark; it is known to mean “Forever.”
That mirror shall be henceforth known as “Forever.” It reveals the true forms of all around you.
It is Object 268 of 538.
269. The Holder of Nerve
In any city, in any country, go to any abondoned building you can get yourself to. To the building say, “I seek the Holder of Nerve.” If the house makes any noise, run. Run as fast as you can until the next day break without stop. If you can do so, you may have escaped your fate. If the door to the house opens, you are ready to move on. Whatever you do, do not enter the building if you value your life or the very essence of your soul. Instead, scale the building in any way you can. As you climb, the building will seem to grow, reaching ever higher, higher than you thought, higher than you could have imagined. Whatever you do, do not look down, for if you do, I shudder to imagine the fate awaiting you. To fall is unspeakable, unthinkable. Do not do so.
When you have reached the top of the roof, you may look around. All around you will be the ruins of a large metropolis. No matter when you began your journey it will invariably be dusk. We recommend you do not dwell on your surroundings, and do not look down. For if you do, you may lose your courage- something you cannot afford to do at this point, as there is no turning back, and has been no turning back since you first uttered the words.
Do not turn around. If you do, all is lost. Instead, laugh, naturally. Do not force it, for if not a true laugh, the fate awaiting you is beyond those that can possibly be imagined by the frail human mind. After you laugh, you will hear the voice of a teenage boy. It will tell you to turn around, in a casual tone. Do so, on your own time. Do not turn swiftly, show no fear. Be leisurely, and move at a casual and calm pace. Standing in front of you will be a teenage boy dressed in clothing befitting the time of your own childhood. No matter what age you were when you began the climb, you to will be a teenager again. The boy is grey-skinned, with murky white eyes holding black spheres inside of them. Do not say anything, for if you do you will become the boy’s playmate, like so many others before you.
Instead, wait for him to speak. It may take minutes, it may take days. Eventually he will utter one phrase in a cocky tone, asking, “Truth or dare?” You must answer with these exact words: “Both, but you first.” He will frown, contemplating, before smiling broadly and nodding his agreement. The truth you must ask is this, “Does bringing Them together take courage?” The boy will become violently angry, but so long as you do not move, he will not hurt you. Eventually his fit will cease, and he will tell you the answer to that question, a short and simple answer compared to the others you may have learned by this point, but one that will test the very mettle of your soul.
After he has answered your question he will ask you, “And the dare?” This is important, as it is your only way of getting out alive. You must smile at him, and point of the edge of the building saying, “I dare you to jump.” His eyes will go cold, and then he will smile a smile of thanks and gratitude. Dropping his cap at your feet, he will nod curtly, and step off the roof.
Pick up the hat. Pull it low over your eyes, so that you cannot see. Now follow him. Provided you have followed these instructions exactly, you will land softly on your feet, in front of the building you scaled oh so long ago. In your hands will be the cap. If ever you feel so inclined to wear the hat, you may do so. It will offer you absolute and unwavering courage, but remember: sometimes courage is the same thing as foolishness, and not all beings in this world are as innocent as they seem. Especially not now, when you possess the cap.
That cap is Object 269 of 538.
270. The Holder of Thunder
In any country, in any city, find a bridge. Walk up to a location on the bridge that gives you a clear view of the sky and use a can of yellow spray paint to write on any part of it “The Holder of Thunder”. If you have done anything wrong, you will hear the faint rumble of thunder in the distance and nothing more. If not, turn around and stare at the sky, and in exactly seven minutes, a brilliant flash of lightning will light up the sky. You will be blinded, but not permanently. Pray that your sight returns, so that you do not fall off your newfound perch. You will be standing on top of an extremely tall bridge, taller than any than you have ever seen. You will be above an uninhabited bay, shrouded in the darkness of midnight, impeded only by the faint light of a crescent moon in the sky.
As you take this all in, do not move. You will be on the southern suspension tower (you will be on a suspension bridge in the style of the Golden Gate). If you wait, and do not leave your high perch, a walkway of a rigid, sail-like material will drift and form in front of you. It will lead to the northern suspension tower. Walk along the path created for you, and do not fall, for far before you hit the water’s edge, a sudden and brilliant bolt of lightning will strike you as you fall, depriving you of all senses, except for the ability to feel the unrelenting pain assaulting your body from all sides for eternity. Should you happen to reach the other end, you will meet a tall figure dressed in a blue military uniform that you have never seen. His long hair will crackle with static electricity as it blows in the wind, yet it will stay perfectly smooth. His race you cannot determine; his voice gives no clues. There are only three other things you will discern from seeing him; his first, second, and third sword, one each strapped onto his waist at the left and right, and one onto his back.
After you have taken his image in, he will notice you and ask kindly, ‘May I help you?’ Do not be fooled by this demeanor, as any other answer will result in him unsheathing the sword from his back, pointing it in the air, and a massive bolt of lightning inflicting pain like no other will land directly on you. If you ask the correct question, which is: ‘What are you? And are you friend or foe?’ His face, showing a small, kind smile before, will now split into a wide grin. He will begin to tell you his origin, his name, his allegiances, and his influence on this Earth. After he has finished, he will ask, ‘Is there anything else?’ Say yes, and then ask, ‘The aid of your blade, if you please.’ If you can manage saying this in a relatively pleasant manner, without shouting or mumbling, he will laugh heartily, and then undo the clasp that holds the sword on the right side of his waist. He will then bend down on one knee, and present the sword to you. Take it, and then ask him to knight you with the sword on his back. He will agree, and will instruct you on what to do. Follow his instructions, and as the sword touches your shoulder, you will lose consciousness. You will wake up then, with the sword he gave you, in the last safe place you stayed in. You may repeat this process a second time, in which he will give you his sword on his left, and before he knights you, he will say, ‘You may come to talk and listen as many times as you want, but do not ask for this last blade.’ If you happen to return a third time and ask for the last blade, he will draw it and strike you down with a savage look of utter contempt on his face.
The blades he gives you are Object 270 of 2538. The first gives you a power to rival that of The Knife, and the second grants you the power to call down the same lightning that this item’s Holder uses to strike one enemy per month, totally obliterating your foe.
Use the second blade more than once per month, however, and you shall feel the Holder’s wrath.
271. Holder of Relaxation
In any city, in any country, go to any smoking shop you can get yourself to and ask to see one who calls himself The Holder of Relaxation. Should he sigh and say he cannot help you, place either the Coin of Greed or the Coin of Trade on the counter. The clerk will pick up the coin, inspect it, and put it in the register. He will then hand you a small, plain looking hookah from under the counter along with generic tobacco and charcoal.
Return to your home and place the hookah in an area of prominence near your most comfortable chair. Light the hookah, get comfortable, and take one long pull on it. The room will begin spinning and you will find yourself falling asleep. At this point your only chance of turning back would be to let yourself sink into sleep. You will wake as though nothing happened. If, however, you are determined, you must force yourself to stay awake and stand up. Exit your house and walk to the house of your nearest neighbor. The distance between your houses will seem to stretch on for miles and you will find yourself getting more and more weary as you go. Do not stop to rest or the distance to either house will stretch on infinitely and you will be stranded.
If you manage to reach the neighbor’s house, open the front door. You will find yourself in a dimly lit hallway filled with demons slumped against the walls; do not scream, as they are asleep and it would be quite bad to wake them. Remove your shoes and proceed absolutely silently until you reach a small door. Open it just far enough for you to squeeze through and shut it carefully. You must not let the door make any noise, lest you wake the demons in the hall and become trapped in this chamber.
As soon as the door is closed, you will hear a stirring directly in front of you and see an immensely fat man on what appears to be a giant bean bag beginning to wake up. He will see you as a disturbance to his peace and begin inhaling to scream for his guards. Before he can scream, kneel before him and say, “I am sorry to have disturbed you, I only seek peace”. If he accepts your plea, he will beckon you to sit beside him. If he motions to his left and you accept, you will fall into a sleep of constant, unimaginable nightmares. If he motions to his right and you accept, you will fall into a sleep of constant bliss, but still never to wake.
Instead, stay kneeling in front of him and ask him, “Do they ever sleep?” He will let out a sigh and tell you that you will never find the answer you seek, and to rest instead. Stand still and do not accept or he will become consumed by his chair and you will take his place. He will eventually relent and tell you to leave him in peace so he may sleep alone. Continue silently holding your ground and he will than reach behind him to grab a hookah, similarly sized to the one you obtained earlier, except covered in intricate etchings and silver work. He will take a pull on it then offer it to you. Accept and inhale.
As you inhale, your mind will become filled with images of all of the Objects and where they currently are. Beware, though, as you may see images of what other seekers use the Objects for, being anything from orgy to mass slaughter, or even possibly both. If you manage to maintain your sanity through this, sleep will begin to fall over you. Don’t fight it this time. You will wake up in your chair as though no time had passed at all, except next to you will be the new, more intricate hookah.
Whenever you smoke from the hookah, you will temporarily forget everything you know about the Holders and the Objects, allowing you the closest thing to relaxation a Seeker is able to experience.
The hookah is Object 271 of 538.
272. The Holder of Melodies
In any city, in any country in the world, go to any musical instrument shop that you can get yourself into. Once inside, head towards the area of the shop where the pianos are displayed, and locate the second furthest piano away from you. Once you have found it, sit down and begin to play. After a while an assistant will approach you and ask if he can help you. When he does so, tell him you wish to speak with the Holder of Melodies. He will look slightly puzzled, then shrug his shoulders and ask you to get up from your seat. Do so, and he will move aside the piano you were sitting at to reveal a trap door beneath. Open the door and climb down.
You will find yourself in a narrow corridor lit with a few lanterns on the walls. From in the distance you will hear organ music playing. Start walking down the corridor towards the source of the music. Should it stop at any time, stand still and call out: “Carry on, I was enjoying your playing.” If the music doesn’t start again, well, let’s hope for your sake you never have to discover what will happen. Eventually you will reach a wooden door with two lanterns hung on either side of it. Don’t knock, just open the door and enter as quietly as you can, for this Holder doesn’t like to be disturbed by any noise.
You will find yourself in a large room, one side of which is taken up by a pipe organ. Walk up to the man playing it and stand on his right hand side, facing the console. Do not stand on his left whatever you do, for it will be the last mistake you ever make. On his left hand side is a hidden trap door, which will open beneath you letting you fall to a fiery demise. Instead, stay standing silently on his right until he finishes playing and turns to face you, however long that may take. Immediately compliment him on his playing, even if you hated every moment of it, for he is very proud and will do all he can to silence those who don’t appreciate him. He will thank you, then ask you if you play, to which your answer must be yes. If you do not or cannot play, it would be foolish even to attempt this task. He will invite you to sit at the organ and will place a book of music in front of you, open at a certain page. Start to play the piece on that page, and hope you don’t make any mistakes. If you make even one, the man will immediately rip your head from your shoulders and the air from your lungs will forever pump the haunting melodies through the organ. Many before you have met this fate and it is not a pleasant one. Once you have finished, turn to face the man. If he shakes his head solemnly, it would be best to start praying to the God you serve for an easy passage from life, not that it is likely to come. However if he smiles and nods his head, you have impressed him with your playing. Thank the man for letting you play, and get up from the organ, making sure to pick up the music book in front of you. Fail to do so, and every effort you made in this quest will amount to nothing. The man will turn and immediately start playing from that book, and it is a melody that causes a shudder in even the darkest pits of Hell. Turn towards the door and, still holding the book, leave the room.
Once you are back in the corridor, run! The Holder will soon miss his music and you will not want to be around when that happens. Exit through the shop, and run as far away as you can. Sleep only when you are too tired to take even one more step. If you are still alive by the time the sun rises the following morning, you have escaped his clutches and are safe to return home, although it would be unwise to set foot in that music shop ever again, for the Holder’s servants now know who you are and hold a terrible vengeance against you.
The book of organ music is Object number 272 of 538. The melodies contained within are enough to drive any human to the depths of insanity.
273. The Holder of Betrayal
Sent May 15 2011, 11:23 PM
from: investigator_c@unitedseekers.net
to: professor.nowhere@unitedseekers.net
Subject: Your information
Hey, C here. I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, but I finally – finally – have the information you wanted. I know I told you I charge a flat fee, and I’m not going to go back on that, but I just want you to know, “professor,” it wasn’t nearly enough.
But anyway. Through means I’d… rather not discuss, I found out what you wanted to know, and here’s the instructions, just like you asked.
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. They’re not easy to find, believe me; for our purposes, at least, a hospital with a psych ward should do just fine. Find an orderly, it doesn’t matter who, and ask to see the “Holder of Betrayal.” I’m told they’ll shoot you a look of combined shock and horrible emotional devestation, but you have to just look them dead in the eyes and try not to blink. They’ll take you to a door that should lead to an ordinary room, open it for you and tell you to “take your time.” As soon as you walk in, though, the door will lock behind you and the lights will go off. You’ll hear this laughter that’s just barely outside what you’d expect from a normal human being, an echoing, piercing sound. And this is where it starts to get weird.
You know, I’m not actually an expert on this stuff. I’ve never tried any of these little games, myself. You guys pay well, and I’m a man who knows his price, but you get up to some eerie shit. I just wanted to let you know that just hearing about this never gets any easier for me, and this is one of the most unpleasant ones I’ve run across yet.
The lights come back on after a while. They’re not the same kind of annoying, lightly buzzing fluorescent lights that were there just a minute ago, though. These are a sickly yellow, with that kind of glow you get on a lightbulb that’s moments away from death that doesn’t really penetrate the darkness, and instead just casts everything in this upsetting half-light. The room is gone, too, and now it’s a hallway, but it’s completely nondescript. Along the walls are portraits that are just a bit too real, that change like those holographic movie cases as you walk past into that same awful expression that took over the worker before.
At the end, there’s a door. Open that up, and don’t turn around. Just go inside. There’s going to be somebody here. One person or more. Men, women – hell, maybe kids – it doesn’t matter. They’ll be chained to the wall, starved and pleading through cracked, bleeding throats for your help. You’ve got to give it to them. You’ll find a key, and you can use that to unhook their shackles. Help them to their atrophied feet. Tell them you can get them out of there. Guide them out the door opposite the one you entered through. Now you’re outside, but it’s more like a morbid dreamscape, a mockery of real life. It’s overcast, and the streets are empty, but it looks real enough. Don’t be fooled. It’s not.
Follow the street; there’s only one way to go. At the end is something resembling a fortress, with a big portcullis attached to a chain, covered in hooks. Your entourage is going to be a little nervous by now, because even though they haven’t been outside for a while, they know it didn’t look like this last time. Reassure them and tell them it’s fine. Then, one by one… there’s no easy way to say it, prof. You’ve got to kill them.
Maybe you can bring a gun or something, but I don’t think it realy matters how. After the first one, if there’s more, the others will try running, but their disused ankles will snap under their own weight. Once it’s all taken care of, hook up their corpses to the hooks on the chain. Their faces will be locked in that god damn expression again, but try not to let it bother you. Their weight will cause the portcullis to rise.
Behind it, on a bare throne, is the Holder you’re looking for. Also wearing that expression. Are you sick of it yet? He’s just going to stare at you. Get your composure, and ask him, “what if I throw away my responsibilities for personal gain?”
He’s going to tell you about all these betrayals in history. It’s going to take forever, but you have to look him in his permanently-horrifying eyes as he recites them. Surpress the nausea, and you’ve done it. You’ve got your object.
I hope that helps. And next time you need my help, I’m increasing my fee. I’ve still got nightmares from digging all this up.
Yours,
Investigator C.
————————————————
Sent May 14 2011, 9:46 PM
from: thewarden@unitedseekers.net
to: investigator_c@unitedseekers.net
Subject: re: Betrayal
Thanks for the info, C. We can always count on you, huh? In exchange, here’s the rest of what you wanted to know for the prof, just like you asked.
So, like I explained before, after the thing with the portcullis you go inside, and there’s your Holder, on a great big wooden throne with absolutely no fanfare.
Don’t look him in the eyes. This is not one of those situations where his eyes will kill you or expose you to some kind of nightmare – at least not directly – he just really hates it, I hear. In fact, I’d dodge looking in the vicinity of his face at all. It’s not really his in the first place, and most people don’t really like seeing the stripped, screaming visage of the person that preceded them strapped onto the Holder like a cheap Halloween mask.
This is also not one of the Objects where you ask a question and get an answer. Don’t ask him a damn thing. If you sent somebody in before you, like I told you in my last email, and they asked him something, you’re in the clear. But say anything to him yourself, and you’re going to find out exactly where your former friend wound up.
In time, he’ll step down from his perch, holding a very fine coat. He’ll walk down, very slowly towards you. Put your arms out at your sides – he’s going to put it on you. Once both arms are on, he’ll button the coat, and finally, he’ll reach behind you and stab you in the back. The pain, I’m told, is unnaturally excruciating. The popular story in our community that it’s the combined anguish of everyone who’s ever been betrayed made manifest, but you know how Seekers sensationalize things.
After an eternity of this pain, writhing on the ground while the Holder looks on, you’ll pass out and wake up in a ditch not far from where you started this thing. The pain will be gone, but you’ll still have a scar there as a reminder. Further, you’ll be wearing the coat with a little tear in the back.
To be clear, that’s Object 273, the Coat of Betrayal. As nice as it looks, you’ll never feel comfortable with it. Whether you’re wearing it or not.
Anyway, give the prof my regards.
– Ward
274. The Holder of Mourning
In any city, any country, go to any cemetery you can get yourself to. Once there, find the custodian and say, “I seek the Holder of Mourning.” He’ll nod with complete understanding, and lead you to a grave, freshly hollowed out. A weeping willow gives shade to the grave, a shovel propped up against it. The fresh grave seems to have no bottom, yet a second look will reveal its shallow depth.
Prepare yourself for the descent. Commit now, or pick up your feet and run until the cemetery slips out of sight. Keep going until morning, when it is safe to rest again. Never again return to that cemetery, though, for you will not be welcome after disturbing the dead.
Step into the grave, and lie down. The custodian will grab the shovel and begin. The damp soil will fall heavy, burying you in darkness.
As you slip into the black, you will feel death creeping up on you, feel it snuff the life out of you. The pain shall come now, not just any pain, but grief. All the agonizing grief suffered in this world, and now you must experience it. Terrible, terrible voices, all of them screaming, all of them mourning. Each of their losses were different, but the feeling all the same. Few who reach this point ever return.
Once the agony leaves you shaken, you will wake. The grave is gone, but the memory of it all just as fresh. You now stand in a funeral home. A wake is taking place. Walk to the casket and show your respect. Be sure to gaze at the body’s face. Look upon it, long and hard.
Horror has stalked you, and now it has found you. The body in the casket is you.
Look around you. There should be an abundance of people, all mourning for you. If not, the chorus of voices shall return, mourning and weeping, and you will mourn with them for all eternity.
Ask the room of people, “Why do you mourn?” When all is said and done, their faces will sour and twist with sorrow. The room will vanish in a blur, leaving only you and total darkness. The darkness will fade again, and you shall be in the cemetery, under the willow and standing beside your grave. Next to you, you’ll find a figure kneeling, covered in the black of mourning.
Ask it, “Who will mourn when we are gone?” Barely audible, it breathes, “They mourn for none.” The figure will dance madly then, robes spinning, yet never revealing what lies beneath. It will pause, and in a low whisper, say, “The dead shall mourn for the living.” The robes swirl, and the dead wail. At first, the sound lingers, only a ringing at the edge of hearing, then the wails intensify, angry and torn. Mourn for them, or share their pain.
You’ll be jolted awake, choking on the dirt above and scrambling for air. Rid yourself of the dirt, and rise out of the shallow grave. The custodian has gone now, as has the robed figure, and all but the pain has left. Above you stands the weeping willow, tall as ever. Beside you stands an urn. Take it. Open it. The wails of the dead can be heard within, however faint.
That urn is Object 274 of 538, a reminder that not even the dead are spared.
275. The Holder of Heroism
In any city, any country, go to a comic book shop and find the owner. When you find him, ask to speak to the one known as the Holder of Heroism. If he gives a sad smile, you are in the right place. He will take you around the building to a door in the back that appears to be a delivery entrance. Knock five times and the door will open.
When the door opens, the inside will be pitch black. Should you enter, the room will light up and reveal an empty room with white walls. If you wait, an Asian girl with a tattoo of a moon across her face will appear in the middle of the room. As soon as she does, visualize the largest explosion you can imagine. A nuke will not be big enough, but a supernova might be. If you are fast enough, and visualize the image properly, she will clutch her head and vanish. If you falter or are too slow, she will shred your mind like paper.
A few minutes later, a tall man with a tattoo of a star on his face will appear. He will spring at you and attempt to choke you to death. If you are decent at hand to hand combat, or if you have a knife, you might stand a chance at defeating him. If you give him a mortal wound, he will disappear.
Once the man is gone, a few minutes later a robed figure will appear. Its face will be hidden from you but it will be carrying a small set of scales. It will then take off its hood and stare at you will its piercing but empty eye sockets. If you have been pure in thought and deed for the past year and a day it will put its hood back on. Otherwise you will be forced to relive your sins for an eternity.
If it puts its hood back on, then ask it, “What happened to our heroes?” It will lift its left sleeve slightly and what appears to be a flap of skin will fly out and attach to your head. From then on you will have a tattoo of a crescent moon superimposed over a brightly shining star on your face.
The tattoo is Object number 275 of 538. Its sole purpose is to bring the heroes back. It is up to you when and if to summon them again, for the last time.
276. The Holder of Insanity
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution you can get yourself to. There, ask a caretaker to speak with the Holder of Insanity. She will laugh maniacally and run away, appearing to go insane. Follow her, and do not lose her, for losing her would mean you will have to condemn another soul to insanity to reach your goal.
She will lead you through an upside down hallway into a mental ward with bright fluorescent colors. Vague remains of the other condemned caretakers as well as those who tried before you lie strapped in beds on the ceiling. As soon as you enter the room, cover your ears so you do not hear their wailing and laughter, or you will share their fate. At the other end of the ward there is a door. The caretaker will open it for you and then disappear. Do not look for her, because she will be behind you from that moment on, following your every move, occasionally giggling quietly. If you should turn around to face her she will pull out a knife and brutally slaughter you before dragging you back to the room of fluorescent colors, where you will spend the rest of your days, strapped upside down in a bed, halfway between life and death, becoming ever more insane with each passing hour.
Behind the door is a long hallway filled with many dark crevices and alcoves. As you walk down it, you will begin to hear whispering, which will grow louder and louder as you get closer to the other end. If at any time the whispering stops, quickly yell “I simply wish to know what they will do!” If you are lucky, the whispering will begin again, and you will be free to proceed. However, if you are not lucky, or if you do not shout loud enough, your mind will be utterly torn apart by the dark forces. At the end of the hallway is a pitch black door.
The room behind the door is padded with dirty mattresses and smells musky and dank. Enter the room, and before you, you will see a man with a mohawk in a restraining jacket that constantly changes colors. He will tell you to nail him to a cross and accept him as his savior so he can be reborn. Do not respond, instead ask him a question. There is only one question he will answer to:
“What is the definition of insanity?”
He will ask you if he told you the definition of insanity. Do not respond, do not make a sound, do not move, do not do anything. For if you do, no god can save you. He will rip himself out of his restraining jacket and mutilate you for all of eternity with his razor sharp knife, shouting that “You should have listened” only for you to come back from the dead the next day just so he can murder you, over and over and over and over again. Shut your eyes, and count to 10 in your head. Once you will hear footsteps quickly move to your left, open your eyes and take the knife out of his pocket. Once you do you only have a couple seconds to drive the knife through his heart. He will fall down motionless in front of you and you will feel a wave of happiness and accomplishment wash over you. You will then start feeling dizzy and pass out on the floor next to him. As you begin to drift off into sleep he will shoot his eyes up and glare at you for a brief moment. You will wake up in front of the asylum, palms around you. There will always be palm trees around when you wake up, no matter of the country or location on the earth. Look down. You will find a blood-stained on your lap. If carrying weapons in your country is prohibited, try to conceal it on your way home. Next time you glance at the knife you will hear the exact same thing he told you before. “Did i ever tell you the definition of insanity?”
That knife is Object 276 of 538.
277. The Holder of Longevity
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself “The Holder of Longevity”. The worker will seem to have been stricken violently ill, and in a hurry you will be guided to a clearing in the yard out behind the building. The worker will hurry quickly inside and lock the door. In the center of the clearing you will find a darkened patch of grass with every blade facing inward. Step into the center and close your eyes, and you will feel a sudden rush as the ground gives way like quicksand.
Do not open your eyes at any point, even peeking will result in the ground hardening again and you will forever be encased in the Earth. Instead, hold your breath and count to ten, and you will feel yourself coming to a gradual stop. By the time you finish counting, your feet will rest on solid soil, and you may open your eyes. You will find yourself in a new clearing with a dirt floor and large stone pillars, perfect yet seemingly naturally formed, surrounding you in a ring. Beyond these pillars is only darkness, and from this darkness you will hear an inaudible murmur. No matter how close you come to the pillars the darkness will never depart, the murmurs will never grow louder, and you will never see what makes these sounds. Cross the pillars, and the darkness will reach out to encase you, and you will become a part of the mindless, unseen mass that you had previously sought. Never will you be freed.
Should you remain in the boundary of the pillars you will notice a bell lying on the ground. Ring it, and suddenly you will feel the ground begin to quake. The bell will begin to dissolve into an ominous green aura that will hover like a cloud. Breath it in, and soon the ground beneath your feet shall begin to crack and rupture. The more the ground crumbles, the further your life will feel as though it is draining away from you. Your eyes will ache and sink in, your skin will pale and begin to hang from the deterioration of muscle, and you will feel as though you would die at any moment. Resist the temptation to fall with all your might and stand tall, and soon a great skeleton, fifteen times your size, will burst upward around you. Its hands will rest to the ground on either side of you as its massive skull looms above you, glaring down with the burning green flame deep within its empty sockets.
Through your weakened state you will find that you have only strength for a single request, and there is only one that the great skeleton may answer, “Will I die here?”. Should you ask incorrectly, attempting to correct yourself will cause your body to immediately collapse and you will be consumed by the darkness. If you ask the right question, the skeleton’s eyes will glow brightly, blinding you, and your mind will be filled with a macabre, echoing voice. The voice will torment you to merely hear it, sapping the remains of your strength until you feel as though it is impossible to stand. It will tell you a long tale of a man who once found an ancient necklace made of gold and small bones. Whenever he moved in the proper direction the chain would seem to get longer, and whenever he made a mistake a bone would fall away. Eventually, after years of searching the necklace had led him to the catacombs of an ancient cemetery deep within a forgotten forest. As he entered the chain began to crumble to dust, allowing the bones to fall to the ground and return to the skeletons they had been gathered from. At the end of the hall was a single coffin. Within were the remains of a headless king. Only one bone remained, and that was a skull. As he placed it into the coffin the skull grew to proper size and returned itself to the remains. The coffin then filled with flame too hot to be natural, and once they cleared remained only ashes of bone. Within them was an old, cracked bell.
Had you stood strong through every grueling detail of the story, the Bell’s aura would finally be exhaled and ensnare the skeleton, igniting it into green flames. The Great One’s bones will dissolve into black ash and fall before you. In the pile there is a small necklace of perfect gold and tiny bones. Put it on, and you will fall into a deep slumber where you will sleep for an entire year. You will awake at home in your own bed, feeling healthier than you ever have. As long as you wear this necklace you will never feel sickness or fatigue, but if it is ever removed every bit of weakness, fatigue, and sickness that would have befallen you since you came across the necklace will return, and the object will vanish.
One of these bones is Object 277 of 538. Remove one, and you remove them all.
278. The Holder of Lust
In any city, in any country, go to any bath house or spa and ask to see the “Holder of Lust”. The clerk at the front desk may ask you if you want to see another person “for your needs”. You must be firm and repeat your request, even if she threatens to call the police or an eviler force. If you keep repeating yourself, she will eventually guide you down the hall to an elaborate door. It will be covered in velvet cloth, framed with gold, and studded with the most precious of stones.
When the receptionist opens the door and looks in, do not look yourself; instead, you must carefully study her expression. If she seems bored, you are free to go in, but it will be an ordinary spa room, and you will have to try again. If a look of childlike wonder crosses her face, she will immediately rush in. If she does, quickly close the door after her. Do not open it again for 15 minutes, even if you hear terrible screams and begging for help. Should you do so before exactly 15 minutes have passed, you will share the same fate.
Then, you will enter. The room will be warm with lovely, sensual odors that will make your skin crawl with anticipation, both coated in masculine and feminine aura. The room will be draped with jeweled red velvet and silks, and the floor with be thick and silken beneath your feet, and the walls with drip with gold and gems. Make sure you show no expression, no emotions, keep your face even and unmoved, despite the lovely scents and shimmering wealth, walk on as if you see nothing, or the room will swallow you and suffocate you endlessly beneath the layers of the very fur you walk, which is still cocooning hundreds of bodies of those before you, writhing and screaming mutely.
Soon, you see radiant, beautiful men and woman dancing and spinning around you, with only scarves of blood red cloth garbing their nude forms. The will stroke you skin and whisper tantalizing promises in your ears, but you must ignore it all. Show no emotion. If you should give in, they will drain your life blood away in dance, peel your skin and rip out clots of hair, shred your mind until you will loose yourself, and be enslaved to their horrendous bondage.
Soon, you will meet a woman, wearing a pure white satin gown with sleeves that graze the carpet, and a mask of a lovely doll’s face. She will be perfectly still, watching you with painted button eyes. You must speak in monotone “What happens beyond the veil?” and her mask will twist into an unnatural smile. She will sweep you away and explain the wonders of compassion and pleasure, comparing it to the desolate and broken existence you have, and it very likely will depress you into such loneliness that you will be but a husk of life, deprived of any real happiness in life. But if you can stand her words, she will give you an apple, and it will be perfect and unmarred, and glisten with ripeness. You will find yourself starving for it, but you must hand it back to her, and refuse any help. She will smile once again, and crush the apple. This will depress you. But then, in a pulpy, wet mass, she will pull out the seeds and give them to you.
These seeds are Object 278 out of 538. Do not plant them unless all other hope for salvation is gone.
279. The Holder of Foolishness
In any city, in any country, go to any circus and ask to meet the head clown. If your request is granted, go up to the head clown and ask him to introduce you to the Holder of Foolishness. He will laugh, and ask you, “We’re all a little foolish at times, aren’t we?” Demand that he not mince words with you. He’ll take you into a small, purple tent, within which is a pasty man in a purple and red jester’s uniform.
Thank the head clown and ask him to leave, but never let your eyes avert themselves from the jester’s own, especially not if you want to keep your mind intact. No matter what happens when the head clown leaves and ties shut the tent flaps behind him; keep your eyes directly on the jester’s. If you should fail, turn and run from the tent, and pray that you never see another person’s eyes again, for you shall return to this tent for the jester to wreak his vengeance on you for your mistake.
When the jester motions for you to speak, ask him one and only one question if you ever want the silence to break: “What mistakes have they made?” He will give you a one-word answer, but you must call him on this lie. He will pull out and spread, face-up, a grotesque deck of cards, which you shall see only out of your peripheral vision. Pick any one card, but be warned: you will feel every act of viciousness, every act of rape, every act of horrendous pain depicted on the card you draw. But whatever happens, do not let your eyes leave his.
Before you go mad, maybe you’ll have the good fortune to draw the ace of spades. He will scowl, and explain to you every opportunity to destroy Them that has been missed. When he has finished with the story, he will close his eyes and look down in defeat. Allow him to do so, but do not let your eyes leave him. He will lift two pendants, one with a crystal of purest white and the other with a crystal of the most utter black you’ve ever seen. If you are in possession of the White King’s sword, sever his head and take both.
If you are not, or if he has mentioned the quality of it (in which case, it will appear on the table between you and him), you must choose. He will explain that the white pendant brings great luck, and the ability to tap into the very source of His power for your own needs. The black pendant, however, will slowly erode the nerves in your body, inching inward over decades until you lose use of your feet, then your hands, then the limbs, and eventually you stiffen into a human tree. Whichever one you choose, you will be allowed to leave the tent intact with everything you brought into the encounter.
If you take the white one, you will have a great help in finding the other Objects. Of course, only a fool would choose the black one. After all, it’s Object 279 of 538, and you’d better hurry up in finding the rest.
280. The Holder of Freedom
Can I share a story with you? It’s a quick story, I promise.
Do you know how I got here? You probably won’t believe me, but this is how. My friend told me about the Holders and the Objects. He’d already gotten the cellphone and the handgun. He also got the bullet, which was his prized possession. He bragged about getting it all the time, so I tried to one-up him and get the Holder of Freedom’s object.
Solomon saw it coming, and he got there first. We both ended up at the same ment-
What? Oh yeah, Solomon is my friend. Well, was my friend.
Anyway, we both ended up at the same mental institution, and we flipped a coin to see who would go first. Now that I think about it, I bet that was an object too. It landed on.. his side. I’m not even sure how do describe the sides. But that’s not the point of my story.
So he went up and screamed “I wish to see the Holder of Freedom, and I am doing this on my own accord!” The receptionist cocked her head and asked him “Are they making you say that?”
He got really scared and ran out. I never saw him again. I guess this was a result of the failure I’ve seen in the tests of the Holders.
So I went up to the receptionist and asked her the same thing. I got a much different answer. Instead of what she said before, she told me “There’s still time for you to leave.”
I didn’t. I wish I had.
So I went and got Object 280. I’ll spare you the details of my adventure, but I’ll tell you that I used the object well.
And that’s how I ended up here with these locks and keys for fingers. I did it all again. I went back to the Holder’s domain, and the Holder had a cage prepared for me. I went inside and used my last lock. I’m glad I did.
And then I began having visions. Quick flashes of skeletons. They were locked up in chains. I didn’t pay much attention to it.
And then I saw Solomon’s skeleton.
I could tell it was him. As soon as I saw him, I noticed that attached to the other end of the chains were photographs. These photographs were of the objects he had. The cellphone, the handgun, the coin, and the bullet. And then I learned.
I wish I never got Object 280. I wish I wasn’t sitting in this cage, with locks and keys for fingers. At least, I wish I never used all the locks and fingers. I wish I knew why some things were better left locked.
I only have one key left. And I don’t dare use it.
281. The Holder of Vindication
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk ask to visit someone who calls himself ‘The Holder of Vindication’. Should the worker’s eyes roll into the back of his head and his whole body begin to spasm, you have come to the correct place. He will seemingly sink into the floor. Do not attempt to go to his aid. Should you go around the desk before you have lost sight of his body, he will grab you and pull you into the black abyss with him. This is the Holder’s line of defense.
Once the worker has disappeared, push the desk forward. It will be surprisingly easy to move. Underneath it, there will be a staircase of rusted grates leading into darkness. Follow these steps down to the bottom, which is farther than you could imagine. At the bottom, the air will be heavy with the smell of blood. Do not be surprised if you have trouble breathing in the horrific stench. The hall that greets you will appear to be made out of human skin and living flesh. As you move down the hallway, the walls around you seem to be almost pulsing or breathing. Do not touch these walls, for the slightest disturbance will cause the hall to close around you and slowly crush all life from you. Walk slowly, and watch your step.
Soon, you will reach a rusty wrought iron door. It is polite to knock, but if something knocks back, apologize for the intrusion. If you begin running now, you may yet make it back to the surface. If nothing happens, you may enter.
You will find yourself in a brightly lit room, spread throughout will be stuffed animals and other children’s toys. The comforting normalcy of the scene may make you want to let your guard down. Do not. Things are not as pleasant as they seem. Don’t look too closely at the items scattered about. Each one is a toy you had or wanted as a child. Each one has subtle grotesqueness that have driven men mad. Bone and sinew will peek out through the matted fur of your favorite stuffed animal. Your toy car will appear to have been in an accident, victims and all. No, it is best if you give them no more then a passing glance, for the Holder is coming. He will materialize out of nowhere, appearing to be a small boy wielding a stick as if it were a sword. He will begin to “play fight” with you. Do not attempt to stop his pretend sword, for it can easily cut you in half. Only one question will halt his attacks. ‘How can we defend against them?’ The Holder will stop and look at you for a moment before laughing in malicious glee.
As you watch, he will dissolve into dust. He will leave only his eyes and the stick, which has become an actual sword. Leave it, it is not for you. The eyes are made of glass marbles with mist swirling around inside. One eye will protect you from blindness, and two can shield your eyes from even the horrors The Holders present. But for each eye you take, you must leave an eye, and though they are no longer connected to you, Holders will use them to watch you.
The eyes are Objects 281 of 538.
282. The Holder of the Consciousness
In any small town, in any country, go to any town hall or public meeting place you can get yourself to. Once there, if a meeting is currently taking place, locate and walk up to whoever seems to be in charge. If there is no meeting in session, leave at once. Wait until a meeting has started, and allow it to proceed for at least a half an hour before returning.
Once you are standing in front of them, do not move, talk, or make a sound of any kind, and, if possible, hold your breath for as long as possible as often as possible. Hold this stance until the eye of every person in the room is on you. If done correctly, the entire room will become silent, but you will hear a faint buzzing in the back of your mind. Then and only then, speak aloud the exact phrase: “I seek the collective, the Holder of the Conscious.”
Whether you close your eyes at this point is up to you, but if you are of weak constitution, you may desire to do so. Regardless of your decision, the doors and windows of the room will slam shut, lock, and fade away, or, if you chose a meeting place outdoors, everything beyond the borders of the meeting will turn pitch black and cease to exist. The members of the discussion will stand and begin to approach you, the step of each member in line with the others.
This entire process is extremely unnerving. You may do whatever you wish during this time, but it is highly recommended that you remain as still as possible. If you shift your position and come in contact with any of the members, or if you panic and attempt to flee the area, your independent mind will forever be forfeit.
When the members are very near, they will stop moving. At this point, look the leader in the eye and ask, “What does the Holder desire of the Seeker?”
The leader will then answer, but you will not understand his speech. It will be a low, guttural sound, which no mortal human may produce. The members will repeat the answer, repeating the same bass sounds as the leader. They will speak slowly and individually at first, but they will begin to synchronize their speech, all the while hastening their words. The noise will get higher and higher, until it is a shrill dissonance that will seek to drive you mad.
Then, one by one, they will merge together into a single entity, shapeless and ethereal. This is the only part of the trial where you must shut away all senses by any means possible. The entity must not be seen, heard, or felt until its shaping is complete. If you fail at this stage of the trial, your mind will be erased, you will be cast from the meeting place, and this Object will become forever lost to you.
You will know when the shaping is complete when you smell a sweet-smelling aroma which will be unique to you only. When you open your eyes, you will see the completed entity, and it will be offering you the source of the smell, which will also be something of your own choosing. It will be something of great value to you, but you must decline and instead request what the entity holds in its other hand, a small, leaden set of scales.
This is Object 282 of 538. The Scales will weigh your ability.
283. The Holder of Labor
In any city, in any country, find any refinery or factory and seek out the foreman. Pull him away from his labors and yell over the machinery that you seek the Holder of Labor. If he looks confused, leave the site at your own pace; you are in no danger until the next time you dare seek this Object. Otherwise, he will sigh with bone-deep weariness and pull you along at a run. No matter the conditions when you arrived, the sky will begin to cloud into a toxic brown, lit by a constellation of burning flares. Breathing will become difficult, and you will dodge sudden gouts of sparks or steam from the machinery, but continue along at his breakneck pace, or the equipment will exact its revenge for your laziness.
After hours of flat-out running, the foreman will hurl you into a tiny caged elevator that descends with a grinding ponderousness. You will have plenty of time to stare at the machinery that now surrounds you, stretching in every direction through a murky brown lit by raw electricity and warning flashes. Molten metal pours in rivers, then waterfalls, as mile-high pistons stamp loud enough to knock your feet from the floor. The air becomes stifling and toxic, burning your lungs as much as your skin.
The views become increasingly hellish during the day of descent. The cage grows scalding, then red-hot around you; the only possible relief is in water hissing down from above, but one contaminated drop will leave you retching until your life’s blood drains away. Gears the size of aircraft carriers clash in the distance, lit only by the glow of friction, as people fall into their meshing teeth from hoppers. The factory drinks entire seas to cool itself, devouring a hundred million worlds and burning them all in a testament to its own idiot strength.
When the elevator stops at last, you must move quickly, for like the ocean depths, this abyss has its own predators. The machines here aren’t fed nearly as often. Run through the dark, and pray that no ocean of ash swallows you, though it would be preferable by far to being caught by whining saws and stray wires, dragged in to be threshed through a grinding engine for all eternity. Run through the black maze for as long as it takes until you see a set of fuses, big as you are, burning in the hostile dark. Each has a spare below it. All you have to do is wrestle each one free and slide the spare in before the machines find you. The fuses are hot enough that the glass is soggy, of course. And the fuses don’t like being moved; they’ll call for help. So work. Work until your skeleton shows in the blisters.
Should you manage this impossible task, the fuses will explode. One fuse in particular will lob a metal filament straight past you. You must snatch it from the air, grinding it deep into the charcoal that was your flesh until the pain shocks you home again, healed and weary at the ungodliest hour.
The wire snarled around your fingers is Object #283 of 538.
284. The Holder of Candles
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. Approach the woman behind the desk. If there is a man working there, find another institution; it tends not to appear in front of men. Ask that person, as politely as you can manage, to see The Holder of Candles. She won’t look up, but you should.
On the ceiling there will be a number. Remember it. It will be nine digits. You won’t have much time to take it in, either, because as you are looking up something cold is wrapping itself around your throat. Don’t take your eyes away from the numbers on the ceiling, or you will be face to face with a horror that will drive you mad on sight.
After blacking out, you will wake up in bed at your home (or whatever you have that passes for a home) without any memory of your trip to the institution. Do not move. Do not search your room. Blur your vision and don’t focus on anything. The gaping, mutilated faces of creatures and demons hide in every corner and peer out from every doorway, and they’re waiting for you to notice them.
Something is lying in bed with you. It’s small, barely larger than a cat, but heavy. And moving its way toward your face.
Don’t look at it, turn and stare indirectly at a wall if you have to, but be warned. Even focusing on this creatures shadow will drive you insane at a glance.
Just as it begins to whisper in your ear, interrupt it with this question, ‘What will light my way?’ If you are not quick enough, it will whisper to you in a sickly, wet voice every place it has watched you from your entire life. As it tells you where you were being watched, you will remember faces in dark corners and eyes peering from closets that you had blocked out and ignored, and they’ll drive you mad with horror.
If you are quick enough with your question, what started as a whisper will turn into an unearthly scream in your ear. If you do not flinch, you will be sitting across from a grinning woman in a small wooden chair with a small table between the two of you. Her body is normal and draped in a white gown, but her face is stretched and distorted. Her eyes bulge to the size of baseballs, and her grin is easily the length of your forearm, displaying an unnatural number of teeth. Her head is at least the size of a beach ball.
There is a candle sitting on the table. You must give her the number if you can still remember it. Failure will result in her opening her mouth and as you sit there immobile she will slowly bite your head off clean, and you will survive being swallowed and slowly digested to death. If you succeed, she will show no sign, but will sit complacently while you pick up the candle and leave. Her eyes will follow you out.
If you light the candle, an image will dance in its flames and its light will illuminate the darkest of shadows.
The candle is Object 284 of 538.
285. The Holder of Blasphemy
It is highly recommended that you complete any Object quest involving going to churches, temples, or any holy ground. Because if you complete this quest before those, then you will be unwelcome at any holy place ever again. And if a Holder happens to be at that place, then all you will do is anger their guardians.
In any town or city, in any country, drive up to any church you can find on a sunny, cloudless day other than Sunday. You do not need to have a car, but it is recommended to help speed your escape. Look for a young man with an umbrella who is sitting cross-legged just outside the church, blowing bubbles from a small bottle.
Walk up to this young man and sit down next to him. Wait until he is just about to blow bubbles, and then say, “I want to see the Holder of Blasphemy.” If you’re at the right place, he should turn towards you, bubble wand still in hand and positioned in front of his face.
If he blows bubbles at you, run to your car as fast as possible and get out of that state as fast as you can. Do not go back for a year, as they know your name and face now, having seen them through the bubbles.
If he stares at you for a moment and puts the bubble wand away, then he thinks you are worthy. He’ll unlock the church for you and let you inside, guiding you to the pulpit and push it aside, revealing a trap door that he will open for you. Do not open it yet. He will go back outside at this point, leaving you by yourself. Wait until the door closes and locks, and then quickly climb down the ladder inside the trap door, making sure to close the door behind you. The creatures beyond the trap door despise the daylight.
You will climb for what seems like hours in total darkness. As you climb, the steps will be increasingly sticky, and feel a wet, viscous substance start to drip on you. Ignore this sensation, at is merely the remains of those who never made it to the bottom. If you hear the sound of a woman laughing madly, shout in the loudest voice you can manage, “I am not here for your pleasure! You are here for mine!”
If the laughter becomes more intense, do whatever you have to do to kill yourself before the source of the voice comes for you. Whatever you do it will be less agonizing than what the creature comes up with for your eternity.
If the laughter stops, continue on.
Eventually you will reach the bottom of the ladder. A single table lamp will turn on, revealing a small desk with a bible and some matches on it, and a small pyre near a door, which remains half-hidden by shadow. Use the matches to light the pyre and burn the bible, illuminating the rest of the door. A key will appear out of the ashes of the bible. Reach in and take it out of the pyre with the tongs provided for you. You can wait until it cools before you use it to unlock the door if you like.
You shall find yourself in a lavish temple, one filled with religious symbols, altars, and statues of gods and goddesses. Tables shall be filled with rich, delicious food and drink, everything you could ever want and taste treats you have never sampled before. Every man, woman, or child, real or fictional, that you have ever had an erotic fantasy about, shall be there, tempting you to join them, using everything they can to convince you to leave the path. You will find your desires and your hunger starting to overwhelm you, and you will want to give in. DO NOT DO SO. This is a trick. Stay on the golden path in the center of the room and do not let yourself be drawn out of it, for if you do the tempting creatures shall reveal their true natures, your body and soul violated for their pleasure in increasingly agonizing ways for all eternity. Swat them aside if you need to, even physically assault them. Just don’t let them draw you off the path.
Walk along the path until you come to a golden staircase. Walk up it until you find a man in elegant, priestly robes and an ornate throne. The robed man is the Holder. If he is sitting on the throne, then close your eyes and pray the end he gives you is swift.
If he is standing by the throne, he will offer you a chance to sit down. Do so, as this shall be one of the only times you have rest and pleasure on your quest. It will be the most comfortable chair you have ever sat on. As soon as you sit down, ask him only this: “What has been done in His name?” If you were not quick enough, the Holder will take out a sacrificial knife and tear you apart in slow, agonizing fashion, your body and soul used in a blasphemous ritual dedicated to Him over and over again for all time.
If you asked your question quick enough, then the Holder start speaking in a voice like aged parchment, and will explain to you, in graphic detail, every horrid act that has ever been committed in the name of a god or demon. Every rape, every genocide, every act of cruelty that man has ever committed for religious reasons shall be explained. And then the Holder will explain the truth behind each act of blasphemy, and why the gods of the old pantheons no longer appear. Many go mad at this truth, the revelation of what man has done to its own gods too much for many to bear. Some try to kill themselves, or in their madness throw themselves off of the path to the creatures below. Maintain your sanity through all of this, do not show revulsion or fear in any way. If you do, the Holder will seem impressed, and ask you a question, “Don’t you fear Heaven’s judgement?”
The only correct answer is as follows: “I would not be on this quest if I did.”
If the Holder believes you, the golden path will expand to cover the entire floor of the room. You will again feel compelled to fulfill your lusts on the creatures that tempted you earlier. Feel free to do so, as they will be safe to interact with now. The food and drink shall be safe to enjoy as well, so feel free to imbibe as much as you like. Occasionally, the Holder will get your attention and bring you before one of the statues or religious symbols. You absolutely must do something to desecrate the statue in some way at this point, even something as simple as destroying it, otherwise the golden floor will vanish and nothing shall save you from the horrors that await you.
Once all the statues and symbols have been desecrated, the Holder will direct you to leave this place out the door you came in. Do not complain, simply stop whatever you are doing and exit. Before you leave, he will ask if you would like to stay and continue to experience this place. Say no. For if you say yes, then you shall be tortured, body and soul, until you become exactly like one of the tempters that you were debauching yourself with earlier.
Once you pass through the door, you shall be blinded by a bright light. Close your eyes and keep walking forward. You can open your eyes when you feel yourself bump into someone. It’s the young man you met at the start of this quest, who had just finished locking the door to the church. If you look at him now, you will realize that he looks like a younger version of the Holder. He will seem surprised to see you again, but compliment you on your success and leave, whistling. Reach into your pocket, and you shall find the bottle of bubbles he had been blowing earlier. The bottle will never run out of bubble solution.
The bottle and wand within are object #285 of 538. Heaven has turned its eyes from you.
286. The Holder of Dross
Go to your home. Stay awake until shortly past midnight, then write on a scrap of torn paper, “I am searching for the Holder of Dross.” The paper should be torn from something you truly value; you must lose something by tearing it away. Place the paper under your pillow, turn off the lights, and lie down, but do not go to sleep. You will begin to feel very tired, but do not fall asleep or get up – this would be a mistake.
You will hear a faint buzzing in your ear, late into the night. Get up from your bed, and exit your home by the front door. Walk to the edge of the street, or the road nearest your door; a man will be waiting for you, leaning against a wooden cart. He will make small talk for some time; you should humor him. He will also offer you a drink, from a flask at his hip. Politely refuse; you do not share his tastes.
After a time of talking, the man will look up into the sky. After he looks back down, ask him, “What are they worth?”
He will tell you, and the answer will be short, and simple to understand. He will ask for more than you are likely willing to give, and this is the moment in which you can turn back and forget your search for good. If you refuse, you can go back through your front door, into your home, and go to sleep, and in the morning your search will seem like nothing but a particularly vivid dream. You may find though that your life and the things you have surrounded it with seem hollow, not worth as much to you as you thought.
If, however, you agree to his terms, go back into your home. Find the things the man has asked for, carry them outside, and put them into his cart. Some of the things you will have to drag. Some of the things will have to be pushed, inch by inch, and even if you are a strong individual, the task will run for hours, perhaps days. Do not stop loading the man’s cart, for any reason, or the man will grow impatient, and you will be in the cart instead.
Some of the objects will be precious to you. Some of them you will not remember as belonging to you, but you will recognize them immediately, and they are things you would beg to keep. Some of these things are a part of you, even if they don’t appear to be; without some of them you would be a much different person. Some you would kill for, sacrifice your loved ones for. Put them in the cart. They are no longer yours.
No matter how many hours or days your task requires, you must finish before the sun rises, or the man and his cart will leave. You will have nothing in return, and you will have paid more than you can possibly imagine.
If you are finished with your task before sunrise, the man will nod approvingly, and shake your hand. He may talk a little while longer, and you can and should talk with him while the sun rises; it may be the last leisurely conversation you have for a long time. He will answer questions about the other Objects and Holders to the best of his ability; note, though, that he has been known to lie.
You will wake up on the side of the road nearest your front door, and everything that belongs to you will no longer be yours. Your home will be empty, and if you linger there for too long you will be removed by the owner. You will need to find shelter, clothing, and food. You will have only one thing that you once owned, clasped in your right hand when you awake.
What is left is Object 286 of 538.
287. The Holder of Milgram
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask the clerk to speak to ‘The Holder of Milgram.’ A look of ire will suddenly cross his face, and he will draw a revolver from under the desk. Do not attempt to dodge the bullet as he pulls the trigger. It will hit you squarely in the shoulder; a blow that will be sure to topple you over.
As you fall, your eyes will fill with blood. Close them quickly, lest you fall blind, regardless of any Objects you may possess. You will feel yourself falling for what feels like hours, and a voice will be attempting to speak with you. Do not give it such an honor; to do so would be welcoming its voice and this void for the rest of eternity.
Once the voice falls silent, open your eyes. You will be standing in a whirlpool of blood. In the red tides surrounding you, you can see millions of humanoid creatures, fighting one another in a sick attempt to rend each other limb for limb, to devour their opponents. Calmly walk through the center of the whirlpool. Say not a word. Those who fight here will not notice you so long as footsteps are the only sound you make. Should they notice you, what ill fortune, they would have no qualms with adding another combatant to their eternal, cannibalistic brawl.
Continue to walk until you are no longer surrounded by the creatures, marked by the sight of a man standing in front of you with his eyes closed. Ask him, “What is it that drives Them?” He will look down to the floor just short of your feet. Follow his gaze to see a knife. Pick it up and, quickly now, stab him in the chest. This is all based on precise timing, you see. If by some misfortune, you are too slow, he will begin to eat you in a rather painful manner, until there is no meat left on your body. Considering that, in this place, you regenerate, this process could take a gruelingly long time. If, however, you succeed, he will clutch his wound as blood gushes out onto the floor. Repeat your question, and his eyes will finally open.
At the moment you see his empty eyes, you will feel something attempting to pull you back. Struggle against it, and shout at him now, “What is it that drives Them?” He will begin to speak of otherwise unspeakable things; of horrible experiments, of obedience, of infection, of hunger, and of blood. While the man speaks, you will feel the sensation of your blood literally boiling while a knife cuts into you. Ignore the pain and listen to his story, or you will never gain the Object from this Holder.
When he is done, he will take the knife from your hands and begin to clean it with a simple white cloth. He will hand you the blood-soaked cloth to you while saying, “Infect another as you see fit, for you are already one of us.” Relent from your struggle against the pulling, and you will see the whirlpool flash by you at a great speed.
You will wake up in exactly the same place you were earlier when you were shot, and you will be bleeding profusely from your still fresh wound. Reach into your pocket to find the white cloth the man handed to you, now cleaned. Place it under your shirt against the wound to stop the bleeding. Quickly and calmly, get up and leave the asylum. In fact, leave the city behind, but remember to maintain a calm demeanor. You do not want the guards to notice your erratic behavior, and hold you down for it, do you? Perhaps a worse fate would be staying in the town itself, however, as the ambulance is coming for you. They would pick you up, and take you to a place where the word “torture” does not begin to describe the conditions.
Don’t forget to get the bullet removed from your arm once you have left the city, though! Surely, you’d get a rather nasty infection from that.
The blood-soaked cloth is Object 287 of 538.
288. The Holder of Peregrination
In any city, in any country, go to any travel agent you can get into. Once inside, find the customer services desk and ask to see “The Holder of the Peregrination.” They will swallow hard and begin to violently convulse. Shout the same question at them, regardless of their spasms. Should they continue to convulse, you are quite free to stand completely still where you are. Running is simply a silly idea; it could not save you from the pain that will inevitably consume you, destroying your mind but never giving you the mercy of death. If, though, they stand, turn around, and vomit, put your arm around them and help them to the back room. Your path will not be impeded upon…yet.
When you arrive in the room, the customer services adviser will turn to you and vomit, as well- only this time in your mouth. Swallow fast and hard, as the acid from the vomit will dissolve in your mouth. The room will begin to lighten around you, with an off shade of blue radiating in it. You will notice that you are now the only one in the room. Suddenly, a terrible pain in your stomach will hit you as the foreign, otherworldly acid hits your gut. A small hole will be burned into your stomach, increasing in size until your insides spill out to the floor. By no means should you attempt to catch them, as they will simply devour you.
Soon you will begin to drift in and out of consciousness. A multitude of low, inhuman voices will echo from your spilled bowels. These voices are perhaps the most foul you’ve ever heard, but you must endure and listen. They will tell you tales of every distance covered by every creature to have ever existed. Fatigue will envelope you, misery and madness will follow.
But you must listen as closely as you can, for after what feels like years, they will pause for a mere moment. You must interrupt them now by asking, “Where is His vehicle?” or you will be made to listen to your innards for all of eternity. Assuming you jump at the chance, a shrill scream will suddenly pierce your mind, rendering the voices as mere whispers that fade to nothingness. The light continues to get brighter until your eyelids cannot even hope to keep out the searing light. Your skin will blister under the intensity. Quickly, you must begin to eat your innards, making sure to chew every mouthful. Do not be concerned about having no appetite; a vast hunger will come over you. It may very well urge you to hurry, to engorge yourself, but you must not listen unless you would care to continue this action until the day They are reunited. Chew completely.
You will awaken in a foreign country. If you happen to look at your stomach, you may notice a wheel-like shape burnt into it. This mark will grant you the ability to get anywhere you need to by any means, while never having to pay any fees. Surely, this will come in handy, as you are a Seeker- you’ve everywhere to be, but so often you must forfeit your possessions for what you seek. However, as long as you bear this mark, you will forever be restless, unable to settle anywhere.
The wheel is Object 288 of 538.
289. The Holder of Literature
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, if there is no one there, flee the building and never return. If there is an owl, stare at it. It will fly through a wall, follow it through.
As soon as you step through, you’ll be in a massive library. The ceiling is unfathomably high, as are the bookshelves. There will be no books on most of the shelves. The owl will have vanished, and now a large bat is hanging in midair. Go towards that pathway, and the bat will take flight. Whatever you do, do not let it out of your sight, or your fate shall be more horrible than the collective imagination of humanity can even attempt to devise.
Eventually, you’ll reach a shelf with a single thin tome, and the bat will transform into a tall, thin man in a suit. Do not look directly at him or he will rip your heart out before your eyes. Do not touch the book yet or you will be sucked into its depths, to dwell there forever as the most ghastly tales pass before your eyes. He will not respond unless you ask ‘Where was it all written?’. The man will vanish, now take the book.
Despite the size of the book, it weighs more than a hundred dictionaries. Open it, and millions of pages will spread forth. They will all be blank. Turn the pages until the book’s sheer size is the height of a man, and then you will find a single folded up note inside. Take it, and read it. The contents of the note, written in blood and somehow much longer than a note this size should be able to display, are so horrible that many would attempt to bludgeon themselves to death so not to remember it. It tells of the great authors of history, both their achievements and the atrocities they committed and suffered. If you remain sane, the note will vanish. The book has now shrank back to its initial size, and its weight is only on your soul.
The blank book is Object 289 of 538. Never open it again until they are all as one.
290. The Holder of Vibration
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house that you can get yourself into. Ask the receptionist if you can see the “Holder of Vibration.” If the worker clamps his hands over his ears while you are saying the last word, quickly do the same – the sound that you have triggered is no ordinary sound.
With your hands over your ears, follow the worker down a dusty hallway. Do not try to listen for the sound that is still being made. Ignore it to the best of your ability, no matter how fascinating it seems. Keep your hands over your ears even after the worker has removed his, and told you it is safe to remove them. He will lead you through an open door to a decaying cell.
The creature inside the room will be nothing you have ever encountered in your life, even if you have been hunting for Objects for as long as you can remember. With your hands firmly planted over your ears, shout as loud as you can at the creature: “What resonates with them?”
The creature will turn towards you and try to remove your hands from your ears. Do not let this creature’s sound touch your ears, or you will understand why it is no shape that you recognize. No matter how forcefully the creature tries to pull your hands away from your ears, keep them there, because it is grunting and moaning to try and force your hands. No matter how long it takes, keep your hands firmly in place over your ears until the creature tires. If even one of your hands is dislodged, then the creature’s sound will reach your ear, passing through your hammer-and-anvil and eventually leaving its permanent mark on your brain.
If, however, the creature tires of struggling with you, it will begin to speak. Now you can concentrate on what the creature says, but keep your hands over your ears while it talks. It will tell you about how and why it feels the objects belong together, along with horrifying tales of what was done when they were one. After it finishes its tale, it will ask you to spare it, to let it live and be free once more. Do not allow this creature the freedom it wishes – it was made into its form for a reason. Instead, with your bare hands, you must rip the creature to shreds. It will scream its mighty yell, weakened by a physical form that is being destroyed. If you are even the slightest bit distracted by anything you are doing, you are doomed to become a piece of the creature. You must feel no remorse while you do this, lest the pieces of the creature perceive you as weak. You must put this creature beyond any form of repair, or else the pieces will come back to life and assimilate you into the creature’s next form.
If you succeed, the creature’s pieces will be scattered all over the floor, with a tuning fork underneath one of them.
The tone that plays if you strike the tuning fork is Object 290 of 538.
291. The Holder of the Companions
If you’ve ever encountered an authentic, tongue-and-cheek traveling salesman, most likely you already despise them. Unfortunately for you, Seeker, you’re going to have to get over that hatred. For good.
First: You will need the Object from the Holder of Isolation.
Second: Do not seek out a salesman on your own. If you do, nothing will happen and you’ll never get the chance to re-attain this Object. Instead, let them come to you, even if it takes many years off of your life waiting for the opportunity.
When the time finally comes when you open your door to some charming, thirty-something man in his cheap suit complete with fake leather briefcase, you must wait patiently while he gives his entire spiel. This could take a while, depending on the salesman. You must look genuinely interested the whole time, but never give a single comment or you will have failed. Breaking off the interested expression will also result in failure, so be careful.
When he finally finishes and appears to have nothing left to say, you must tell him, ‘Well sir, this sure is some great stuff, but it’s not really what I’m looking for.’ He may launch into another desperate spiel or two, but inevitably he will ask what it is you’re looking for. Without changing expressions, tell him, ‘The Holder of the Companions.’
If you’ve done everything right, the salesman will suddenly look very nervous; he will sweat profusely, shift his eyes from side to side, lick his lips, this could continue for at least a minute before he suddenly brightens and brings you to his car (if he hasn’t already) and opens the briefcase on the hood, where he will proceed to dig around furiously. If you look inside the briefcase the salesman will find nothing, sigh in defeat, and drive off without even looking at you. If his will to live is strong, he will survive the maddening depression to come and forget all about you.
If you do not look inside, it will seem like an eternity passes as the salesman searches through his briefcase. Time will flow like water around you, and everything will become a blur. If you try to remain conscious of time’s flow, you will grow old and decay so quickly that you won’t even be aware of your own death.
After a few minutes, everything is different. The salesman, the briefcase, the car, the entirety of your previous surroundings will be replaced by an abandoned downtown section of an unknown city. There are no plants or animals in sight, only immense concrete monoliths staring down at you with pitch black eyes. Beware these buildings, for the creatures that dwell within are grotesque arachnids of immense size, like some hellish cousin to the wolf spider. Simply by being here, you provoke their wrath. Fortunately for you they are almost completely deaf. Remain perfectly silent as you walk among the buildings and you will go unnoticed: if they once see you, a terrible screaming will rise from within the monoliths, and the spiders will not rest again until you have fed their millions of young.
Start walking and eventually you will reach a roundabout that revolves around a shattered statue — the only ruined thing in the city. Standing atop the rubble is a tall man with long greasy hair wearing a brown plaid suit. He is holding a furry, cow-print briefcase in his left hand and grinning madly from ear to ear with yellowing teeth. His pants are torn just below the knees, and he wears no shoes. His feet are coated with a disgusting pitch-black mud that never dries, and if you look closely you will see a smattering of bugs swarming aimlessly through the muck. Tied around his neck by a string is a silver pendant of two spurred cowboy boots.
Approach him, but do not speak. And do not look into his eyes; only madness and death await you within those black pearls.
Soon after your approach he will let out a long sigh and ask in an exaggerated southern drawl, ‘You were looking for me?’. His voice will be mesmerizing and otherworldly, but if you give way to these charms you will remain there forever, locked in his gaze and that of the monoliths, and eventually that of the spiders.
There’s only one thing you can do at this point: show him Object 126, and look directly into his eyes. If he isn’t crying, you will become mesmerized and fall prey to the spiders.
If he is crying, remain where you are. As tempting as it is, do not take the cow-print briefcase or even touch it; he will immediately cease his weeping and smash it against your head with the momentum of a Mack truck on a highway: It is his livelihood, after all. Instead, ask him politely, ‘For what reasons do they hide?’
Through broken sobs the man will explain in detail the inhumanity and eternal suffering every remaining Holder experiences every day, hour, and second. This may take up to several hours, so get comfortable, if possible, Most Seekers who get this far will go mad during this sob story, doomed to wander eternally in the concrete graveyard. Not even the spiders will end their suffering.
As he finishes it will start to rain brackish droplets, even if the sky was clear when you arrived. His expression will return from emotionally shattered to the usual nauseating smile, although tears will still stream from his black eyes. After another long sigh he will untie his pendant with jerking limbs and toss it to you. With a deep nod, he’ll call out, ‘It’s all yours, Tiger. Y’all take care of that now. It’s mighty fragile.’ Finally, he’ll turn and walk away on bowed legs.
An immense sensation of vertigo will overcome your tired mind and you will find yourself sitting in the passenger’s seat of a wrecked car off the side of a random stretch of highway in the Midwest. Next to you is the body of the traveling salesman. Every bone in his body has been shattered, and he is covered in the same black muck as the Holder’s feet. Don’t worry too much about him. Most likely he won’t be missed.
The silver pendant in your hand is Object number 291 of 538. Keep it safe, for as long as you have it around your neck, your voice will carry a charming bass resonance that will mesmerize any who hears it.
292. The Holder of Visions
In any city, in any country, visit any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself into. The worker sitting behind the front desk will wear a tattered suit, his hair will be greasy and unkempt, and in his eyes will reside the barely perceptible gleam of madness. Ask this man if you may visit the one who calls himself “The Holder of Visions.”
The man will laugh loudly. “Oh, no another one of ”you” guys,” he’ll say, in good humor. His charisma will draw you in, and he’ll ask if instead you’d like to go to the bar with him for a drink. Do not accept this offer, or he will lead you into an alleyway, where you’ll be gutted before you see his knife. Instead, ask again, and his face will change. His smile will fade and the madness in his eyes will show itself again. “Why don’t you come with me,” he’ll say. “Now.”
Do as the man says, and he will take you around the building to a side door. He will open the door for you, and you must walk in without fear. Inside the door will be a dimly lit room, and the walls will have strange vents near the floor. The door to the outside will lock behind you, and the vents will hiss. A strange vapor will begin to fill the room. Hold your breath, bang on the door, or even scream, if you like, but you won’t last very long.
It’s best to find a comfortable spot on the floor to lie down, and breathe deeply. In moments you will pass out, and the visions will begin. No one ever sees the same things. Visions of your greatest triumphs will intertwine with those of your greatest failures. You will see joy and sorrow, anger and peace, love and hatred; all of this and more will pass before your eyes as you oscillate between ecstasy and horror.
No matter what, you must stay focused and lucid, and remember that this is not reality, but only dreams and illusions. Should you forget and become too engrossed in the visions, even for a moment, you will be forever trapped within them as they grow progressively more terrible, and consume your sanity.
If you manage to remain focused after what will feel like an eternity, amidst your visions you will see a straight flat road, stretching as far as you can see into a grassy plain under a cloudy, gray sky. Your hallucination will take you down this road, and towards a darkly-clothed man wearing a black baseball cap, standing at the road’s end. When you are fifty feet away from him, you will feel yourself calling out the question, “Have they been together before?”
Suddenly, your dream will shift, and in an instant you will see a vision of chaos. The dream will become a nightmare of an ultimate destruction so complete, so terrible, that to even imagine it too heedlessly is to be driven insane. If, after this ordeal, your sanity is intact, you will wake up face down in an alleyway. Your head will feel like it was just hit with something heavy and blunt, and your wallet will be missing. You will be sore and nauseous, and your strangely familiar, black baseball cap will be slanted awkwardly across your face.
The hat is Object 292 of 538.
293. The Holder of Deletion
In any city, in any country, go to any place where computers are prevalent. It may be an internet cafe, a copy center, a network hub, anywhere you can think of so long as multiple computers are present. Ask anyone you see there if you can speak to the “Holder of Deletion.” If the person’s eyes go wide with disbelief, you have found the right place. If any other reaction occurs, flee for your very soul and don’t look back. They are on to you.
You will be led down a hallway to a part of the building that nobody seems to have used for a long time. As you walk down the hallway you will notice that the technology seems to become more and more dated, until finally you come to a room with a single computer.
The first thing you will notice about the computer is that it is not plugged in to the wall. It will be of a much older generation of technology than you are used to seeing in your time, but somehow it will still work as if it were good as new. This is your last chance to walk away. There will be a prompt on the screen requiring your input. Sit at the computer and type the question “Where are they now?”
The room will vanish around you and you will find yourself in a void. The computer will manifest in front of you as a glowing wire-frame shape of itself, linking cables that weren’t there before into what you will perceive to be as your brain. The data flow that will enter your mind will tell of every fiasco that came about as a result of technology, transcending time and space – future events are not lost to this Holder. Every piece of data ever deleted, from the most petty and inane to the most important and crucial, will flash into your mind, and every horrible consequence will be shown to you in excruciating detail. Only those with the fortitude of the necessary caliber will survive this torrent of data without becoming part of the computer’s inexhaustible power supply forever.
You will realize that this void is everything that has ever been deleted, whether inadvertently or on purpose, and you are quickly becoming part of it all. Only the power of your imagination, originating from within yourself, will be your saving grace if you decide to seek this Object. Try speaking, or naming yourself back into existence; this computer only understands certain aspects about the phenomenon known as vibration.
If your imagination is strong enough, you will manifest yourself in the room with the computer. The monitor will be off and one of the keys on the keyboard will be in your left hand. Leave the compound immediately – someone might need to bring something back…
If you want anything to ever permanently vanish (even other people, if you’re truly sadistic and evil), just think of whatever it is and touch the delete key you now possess; it will then cease to exist. If you use it too much, though, eventually all that will be left will be you and all of the Objects, gradually being brought together, even if you previously tried to use it on an Object. You didn’t think it would be that simple, did you?
The delete key is Object 293 of 538.
294. The Holder of Decision
In any city, in any country, go to any camera shop or place that develops photographic film. When you reach the front desk, ask to speak with “The Holder of Decision.” The person at the desk will go over to the developing machine and remove a photo from it, subsequently handing it to you. As they do this, say nothing: do not so much as acknowledge that they are there. They are quite the silver-tongued devil, and they will try to persuade you not to carry out this task.
The photo you are given is a simple picture of the room you stand in now, an old man dressed in a leather apron standing in the corner. If you would look up, he is not there now, so do not attempt to find him like that. Something about the man beckons you to follow him. Walk to where he was standing, and you will find another photo in the floor, this time of a very long corridor. Two steel doors stand at the end of the corridor, marked numbers 1 and 2 respectively. As you look back up, the corridor will be in front of you, much longer than the length of the simple building you likely entered. Surely, you are used to such oddities by now, though. Make your way to the doors.
At the foot of door number one, there will be yet another photo. It shows the door opening into a dim room, with the only light coming from a distant window. As you look up, the door will be open in the same manner as the picture. Make your way through the door, and it will slam shut behind you, the rust billowing out in plumes. Mind yourself not to think too terribly much about door number two; there is nothing of benefit to you behind it.
A carriage clock will sit on a dresser whose details you can’t quite make out. Its face may be somewhat difficult to read due to the darkness, but you will be able to see 9:45. Lift the clock, and pull out the stack of five photos hiding underneath it.
Photo one, the clock sits on a counter reading 9:48. Your most beloved one is depicted speaking to the man at the front desk.
Photo two, and the clock reads 9:50. Your loved one is taken down the corridor by the man at the front desk. He holds door number two open for your loved one.
Photo three, the very same clock is shown on an almost identical vanity, reading 9:53. Two men are shown doing unspeakable wrongs to your loved one. Their filthy faces are screwed up with lewd, erotic pleasures. Your lover does not share their joy; indeed, they weep, submitting to their fate.
Photo four, and the clock reads 9:49. It shows you taking the clock in your room off the vanity and heading for the window to continue your quest.
Photo five, and the clock is broken, its face smashed. A combination of objects are shown, the broken clock included, in the filthy hands of two men. Your and your lover’s body lie in a mangled heap on the floor.
Once you’ve finished looking through the stack and absorbing their content, regardless of how long you’ve spent, look back at the clock. It is 9:49.
The carriage clock is Object 294 out of 538. They have made so many decisions, and now you must make yours: will you take the clock from its Holders as is routine, or will you try in vain to save your lover?
295. The Holder of Immolare
In any city, in any country, go to any restaurant or bistro you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, a waiter will approach you, his arrogance and disinterest in you should be quite obvious. If it is not, then you have not been seen as worthy just yet. If it is, tell him in a tone that is somewhat debonair, that you wish to have a table at the back of the room and that you do not want to be disturbed. The waiter will look you up and down and walk off; his disrespect will be infuriating, but just stand still and watch him. Eventually he will turn and click his fingers and point to a table. He will walk past you and you should thank him politely before you sit down. He will not reply, but not thanking him will incite within him great wrath.
After a few minutes the waiter will approach your table, this time looking very anxious; beads of sweat will be just noticeable on his brow and his eyes will keep looking towards the door. Follow his eyes and glance toward the door as well, where you will see two plump men blocking the door, their arms folded. They will be staring at the waiter.
The waiter will look at you and ask,’What would you like to eat?’ all his previous haughtiness gone from his voice.
Only reply with, ‘I want to dine with the Holder of Immolare.’ The waiter will visibly flinch, and try to persuade you otherwise with tempting descriptions of each menu item, but you must be persistent! The waiter will plead with you to order a meal, but do not. When he is whispering his pleas to you, demand your meal loudly and forcefully. This will catch the attention of the two men, who will walk over and each put a hand upon the waiter’s shoulders before dragging him away, towards the kitchen door.
Moments later, a man, dressed in suit trousers and a disgustingly dirty string vest, holding a plate of food, will emerge from the kitchen door and sit himself next to you.
“Tell me of Immolare,” he will command – but do not answer unless you wish to be the next meal. Eventually, he will set the plate down upon the table and give you permission to eat. On this plate will be the leg of a baby, almost burned. Eat with haste: you are the star of the show and everyone is watching. The slightest sign of repulsion will drive the crowd into a murderous frenzy before your task is complete.
As you finish your meal, the man will take your plate and ask you to follow him; you must. You will be taken to the center of the room where a single chair will be waiting for you. Sit down and wait. A crowd will have gathered around you now, all eyes eagerly trained on you. At that moment the kitchen doors will fly open, the doormen will wheel out an ornate trolley, causing expressions of childlike glee to spread across the others. On that trolley will be the waiter; naked, tied down, with fresh, dismembered carcasses of babies and fetuses in every orifice. His eyes will be sewn shut, his pathetic struggling all that remains of his sanity.
If you were to look around, you would notice that the restaurant has continued to fill up since your appetizer, the crowd now fills the building wall-to-wall, and is growing yet larger, every being clambering for a better view. Small scuffles will break out as the fight for a good view becomes literal.
The doorman will remove a small leather pouch from his trousers, undo the pouch and take a large pinch of a coarsely ground mixture. The crowd will fall silent at this action, and he will sprinkle the mix onto the waiter. The helpless waiter will thrash about, while the blend burns deep into the flesh, causing plumes of smoke to rise, his screams nothing compared to the thunderous applause and rapturous shouts of joy from the crowd. In short order, fighting will break out again, but this time the crowd will be clambering not to see, but to eat – rushing towards the helpless waiter to devour his still-living flesh. His screams of anguish will never rise above the lustful roar of the crowd as they tear him asunder, gorging themselves on the offering. The feast will turn into an orgy: a writhing mass of naked bodies will plaster the floor, dripping in blood, the waiter’s and their own.
An instant later the crowd will fall silent as a deep slumber envelops them. You will be asked by the doorman, “Was that to your liking?”
“I want the Immolare,” is all that you can say.
If you want the Immolare, you must take it: The moment you declare your desire, the man will run at you. Do your best to avoid his teeth, for they are razor sharp, and all that has decayed and rotted among them will surely cause quite the infection. Finish him off in any way you can, or you will share the same fate as the other Seekers, who you have witnessed devour the waiter, trapped and caring for naught but your next meal.
Once you have defeated him, take the pouch and hold it above your head. The sleeping horde with stir; empty the contents over yourself. The blend will burn you to your very soul, searing pain will run through your body as the crowd will reach fever pitch, the excessive quantity of the mixture will send them into a rage, and they will tear each other apart to dine on you.
You will wake up in your room with the pouch in your hands, covered in teeth marks and burns, a small amount of mixture left in the pouch.
The Mola Salsa is Object 295 of 538. No matter how many times They are fed, Their hunger can never be satisfied.
296. The Holder of the Noose
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself “The Holder of the Noose”. Should the worker ignore you, leave. It is not yet time. If the worker should go limp, however, promptly close your eyes. The commotion of other staff members rushing around in confusion will immediately be heard. The voices will condemn you, asking what happened. Keep your eyes shut and do not reply, least you will suffer a fate so unimaginable that the human mind is unable to fathom it. When all is silent, it is safe. Open your eyes. If successful, you should find yourself in front of a staircase.
Ascend the stairs. As you do so, voices pleading for help will sound below. Do not ignore these voices. Instead reply calmly, “There is no help for you now.” If the cries continue, stand still and accept the gruesome fate about to befall you. If the cries stop, proceed. Eventually you will come to a door engraved with a unique symbol. At the bottom of the door is a dagger. To gain access to the room you must engrave the symbol onto one of your hands. Once done, touch the knob with the same hand. The door should open. If it doesn’t, pray someone of better ability than yourself picks up where you left off. You will not be returning home.
When the door opens, you will be greeted with the sight of a girl, a boy, and a noose. Ignore the girl, and ask the boy “What happened to the others?” Say anything else, and you’ll forever regret not hanging yourself with the noose while you could. The boy will speak of how the other “visitors” were lost and forgotten through time. The tale will make your soul feel such pity, disgust, and unworthiness that you will begin to debate whether or not to kill yourself at that moment so as to be saved from any possible future mistakes. When he is finished, the girl will ask if you’d like to know anything more. Do not acknowledge her. When it is clear you will say no more, the boy will command you to turn around. Defy his orders. Instead watch as he proceeds to set up the noose and force the girl’s head through it. All the while, she will shriek and cry for help with tears running down her cheeks. Approach with the dagger in hand and give it to the boy, releasing all hope from the girl.
After all is done, the boy will cut off a patch of the girl’s hair and bring it over enclosed in a barrette engraved with the same bleeding symbol on your hand and the door. Exit the way you came, finding yourself in the same spot in the lobby where you began. Though this time, no one is around and the worker remains limp.
The barrette with stray hair is Object number 296 of 538. Do not remove the hairs, for they represent your life.
297. The Holder of the Firefly
In any country, go to any deep cave you can get yourself to. It need not be tall enough to stand, but it must be deep enough that you can walk for a while and be totally encased in darkness, and when you look behind you, no trace of the light from the outside is detectable. Once you are in such a situation, position yourself with your back to a wall and knock on the ceiling seven times. Wait for five seconds, and then knock six times more. (If the ceiling is too high to reach, you can instead knock as high up the wall as you can reach, although results are not guaranteed if you do.)
You will be taken to a deep part of the cave that every cave has – the part that the cave always chooses to keep a secret. Once there, you must look and walk swiftly and resolutely forward into the darkness. If you stumble or glance in any other direction, you will be caught in the enveloping black and will be forever lost.
Eventually, voices will start singing throughout the cavern. It will be an ever-changing song, and each change will invoke a different sensation; some will be emotional, and some will be physical. It is essential that no matter the sensation, from boiling anger or crippling pain to overwhelming depression and feverish passion, you must continue on, steadfast and unwavering.
When you have finally passed the chamber of songs, you will come to a large statue of a snake winding about a large gas lantern. From within the lantern will emanate a faint greenish glow. Navigate your way around the statue until you are standing directly before the snake’s head. Then ask with a stout heart the following question: “What has befallen the guiding light?”
In response, the snake will unwind itself from around the lantern, and the source of the glow will be revealed as a small green glass pendant with no chain. Do not take the pendant, as it is merely a decoy, and will decay the arm of any poor Seeker that touches it. Instead, overturn the entire lantern onto the ground. It will crush the snake, which will convulse violently for a time, snapping at anything that comes close.
Once the snake is dead, go to its mouth and retrieve one of its fangs. Once the fang has been removed, it will begin to leak some of the snake’s poison, which will soon evaporate into thousands of small yellow lights.
The Poison is Object 297 of 538. It will guide your journey, but you may not find the destination to your liking.
298. The Holder of Community
In any small town, in any country, get yourself to any government building you can find. Once there, approach the front desk and ask politely to see “The Holder of Community”. A look of wide eyed fear will come into the clerk’s eyes, and she will stare into your face, unblinking. Suddenly, the phone will ring and she will flinch, looking at it as though it were a poisonous viper. She will pick up the receiver and hold it to her ear. As she listens to the Voice speaking through it, the color will drain from her face. Keep your silence during this time if you wish to continue your quest, for to interrupt the Voice is to invite its wrath.
Soon the attendant will set the phone back on its cradle and lay her head in her hands, weeping. Put your hand on her shoulder and ask again for the Holder of Community. With anguish writ large across her face she will look at you, and point mutely to the door you came in. Leave the building. The sleepy town you had seen before lies in ruins. Acrid smoke will fill your lungs as you breathe in the stench of death. Hide quickly, for now is not a good time to be standing in the open. Packs of horrifying demons stalk the survivors of this atrocity, and you will be but one more meal to satisfy their unending hunger. Make your way to the tallest building within sight, as that is your only way out of this damned place.
If at any point in your travel you should happen upon a lone figure, cloaked in darkness your eyes cannot penetrate, you must run swiftly, and hope he did not see you. He is the Dark Oppressor of this town, and those who fail to escape his ever watchful eye have only a short while to regret their mistake before he descends upon them, gnashing teeth rending soul from body and flesh from bone.
Should you make it to the building, enter quickly, and barricade the door with whatever lies at hand. Shortly after entering, you will begin to hear the Voice, whispering into your mind. It will be sibilant and seductive, drawing you unto itself. Do not resist, for at any time it can fill your mind with such terrible noise as to make your loudest screams seem a whisper in the storm of its force. Follow it, and you will be brought before an unassuming door. Steel yourself, and enter.
The door will slam behind you, and you will find yourself in blackness without relief for as far as your eyes can see. Silence will have descended, the Voice gone completely. Do not speak, except to ask: “Why do they worship Them?” slowly the Voice will begin again, a low hum that will build into a soundless shriek. It will continue until you feel you cannot stand it any more, then suddenly, will cease. Out of the darkness will come a small shadow. It won’t appear as light so much as a lessening of the eternal gloom that surrounds you. It will speak, sounding through the voice of your dearest childhood friend. It will describe in stark, horrifying detail all of the deception and tragedy, the lies and bloodshed that have come from those misguided souls who use the Objects for their own personal gain. This tale will seem to go on for ages, and the spirit’s voice will grow sadder with every passing moment, until your heart wants to weep for the loss. Do not. The Voice still holds sway, and though balked for now, it wishes for nothing more than to destroy your mind and leave you gibbering in the darkness for eternity.
When the spirit finishes, close your eyes and wait until you feel hard concrete against your back. Open them, and you will find yourself lying on the steps of the building. The sun will be streaming down upon your face, the blasted ruin relegated to the nightmares of its unsuspecting citizens. Upon your chest will be a small glass ball, inside of it will be an infinitely detailed model of the town you are now in. When you place your hand on it, you will once again hear the Voice. You are its master now.
This ball is Object 298 of 538, The Voice never lies, but it will always strive to deceive you.
299. The Holder of Blood-lust
In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. There, at the front desk, ask for the “Holder of Blood-lust.” The worker will turn as white as a sheet, and lead you to a door. The door itself looks normal, except for a small bloodstain at the bottom. Enter the door and you will be on the most hellish battlefield in ever conceived by man or god.
The ground will be littered with decaying corpses and blood will run thick and deep. Nearby, there should be a large object with 3 soldiers huddled behind it. They will ignore you unless you ask them, ‘Why must there be bloodshed?’ At that moment, the soldiers will fall down, dead, and a hoarse voice will call your name from behind you.
Turn around, and you will see a man. He will be bleeding from several wounds in his body, and holding a large, twin bladed battle-ax. Ask him about the battle, and he will recant the destruction caused by the Objects brought together. Ask him for the Object, and he will laugh at you. Ask him once more, he will call you a fool and swing the ax into a chunk of stone. He will then depart, and you must remove the ax. If you do not remove it quickly enough, he will turn around, and slaughter you in the most horrifying way possible. However, if you remove it, he will turn and say, ‘My blood-lust is sated; yours has just begun.’ at that moment, you will appear outside the mental hospital holding the bloodied ax.
This is Object 299 out of 538. When they are brought together, there will be blood.
300. The Holder of Woe
In Baltimore, Maryland, United States, go to the building marked 203 North Amity St. and enter the building. There should be a tour going on of the inside of the building. Join the group. The tour guide should ask you if you want to start the tour from the beginning. Here, you should say “No, I merely wish to see The Holder of Woe.”
The tour guide will give you a quizzical look, and then tell you that the group already did that part of the tour. By now, if you haven’t noticed the group she leads, you will find that all of the members are soaked in what would appear to be their own blood, bleeding from gaping wounds a river of red that flows like a river down the hall they just walked. Their eyes will represent white marbles rolling in their heads. Long-since abandoned the use of sight, these people have searched the darkness for that they have lost. Their tongues lolled out of their head, a sickeningly green pestilence or plague attacking the inside of their mouth and their tongues.
And the innocent looking tour guide is the leader of these damned souls. Do not fall for her tricks. Turn around and follow the trail of blood the tour members left behind.
The trail should reach a door, with a small puddle indicating where the profuse bleeding started. Knock on the door. There is no turning back at this point, however, if you had any inclinations of running away, you would have never gone to Baltimore, let alone this house in particular.
Wait until a calm and collected voice calls you in. If the voice is rough and terse, then today is the day that the higher powers have decided you should have never existed. And they will fix their error by using the most painful way imaginable.
Open the door. In the room you should see a small, pale man sitting at a desk writing in a journal. No matter when you entered the house, the sky through the window next to the desk will be dark, with no moon, and the man will be working by an oil lamp. Besides these details, there is nothing else you will be able to see, for the light of the oil lamp can only go so far.
Enter the room. Ignore the sound your feet make when they hit the floor, in a squelching sound. Do not look down to see what color your shoes have become. Block out all thoughts of how warm it feels. And, most importantly, say nothing about the fact that there is something on the floor in the first place.
When you reach the man, look down at what he writes. It will be an incomprehensible language, not worth taking a second glance at.
The man will say this, as he writes, “May I help you with something?”
Respond with nothing more but “Nevermore.” If you say anything else, he will immediately attack you with a force that will cause you eternal pain in every nerve ending on your body. Death will never reach you as he slowly pulls out everything from you that belong inside a human being and feasts, taking his time with chewing every morsel of you that he can get before using your blood for his fountain pen.
He will shake his head. “So, you really want it? The Object I held onto for so long? But I’m not done with it yet.”
Respond with “Nevermore.”
He sighs. “Well now. Is that all that you can say?”
Respond with “Nevermore.”
He looks up from his notebook, but not at you. “I see. Say, I need some input on a story I’m writing and was wondering if you could spare a minute to listen to it…”
Respond with “Nevermore.”
After a brief pause, he gets up and walks to the window. “Alright, I’ll take that as a form of agreement. Well, it starts off with…”
And he will commence to tell you one of the most disturbing tales you will ever hear, seconded by nothing and no one. He will tell you of an infamous criminal who escaped a certain mental asylum. The reason he was there? He had murdered and then eaten every person that had come into contact with him before his arrest, a grand total of 23 people. Forced to rot in the asylum for 5 years, he patiently waited for the death sentence, babbling about rescue from a divine source and the collection he has yet to finish. Then, on the day of his painful termination, a bolt of lightning melted a hole in the fence and created an explosion so powerful it blasted a hole in his cell big enough for him to squeeze out.
He ran until he couldn’t run anymore, and then kept running. He then entered another asylum and asked the attendant there to see someone. He enters and leaves very quickly, carrying a small package in his arms.
The man continued to do this, killing and partially devouring any that stood in his way in a gleeful spree of blood, until he gathered a number of random objects easily over 500. Then, he disappeared, without a trace. No one heard from him again. The moral of the story? What moral?
“Well,” the man will say, “what do you think?”
Respond with “Nevermore.”
The man will pause. “Do you want to know who the man was? The killer?”
Respond with “You?”
The man will turn to you, his face covered in darkness, and show his pink, jagged teeth, the color illuminating itself in the darkness. “No…”
The man will step closer and whisper, “… it’s you.”
Now you will be able to get a good look at his face. It will seem as though you are looking at a mirror, for this man’s face is an almost exact copy of yours, except the man in front of you will have red coming down his chin, and his teeth will be filed down to a pink point. Then the man will hold up a mirror.
Feel free to scream. What you will see is the man’s face, which has now become your own face. The same teeth, the same blood, the same wild look in the man’s eyes.
The next time you blink, you will be in the room in the house, the time of day being what it was when you entered the building. On the desk will be a closed journal with a blood red “R” on the cover. Take it, and head to the bathroom. It would be a good idea to wash off that blood from your face.
This journal is object 300 of 538. You now have the inspiration to bring ruin to life as you know.
The Holder Series 